I mentioned back in April of 2004 that my mom has made hats for premies babies and hats for soldiers.
Lately, though she volunteered with the Quiltmakers shop in Fishers that coordinated a large-scale event last Saturday where quilters sewed quilts for Katrina victims using materials donated by fabric companies. They made 51 quilts. That’s awesome.
In theaters February 2006. Yeah!
A couple things bother me, though. He’s very cute, but he doesn’t look enough like George from the books. And Will Ferrell as the man in the Yellow Hat? Um, no. Sorry, that’s wrong.
I stumbled across Beth Doherty’s amazing crochet creations on Flickr and from there discovered that she sells these adorable creations at an online shopping service called “Etsy” that works very similarly to eBay, only for handmade creations. Very cool animals, and the shop is a very cool idea, too.
Check out this eBay entry from a guy selling leather pants; it’s hilarious:
You are bidding on a mistake.
We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of the wrong people.
And we buy leather pants.
I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.
The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.
Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.
I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:
- I am not a member of Queen.
- I do not like motorcycles.
- I am not Rod Stewart.
- I am not French.
- I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.
These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.
Again, they’re men’s pants, but they’d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It’s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.
They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown – perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate – I shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.
These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.
Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.
Please buy these leather pants.
There is more to the entry, including a Q & A session worth reading for the humor.
And if you really want to get into the eBay spirit, here’s a bunch of stuff I’m selling on eBay for my mom. You’ve always wanted a beer stein, haven’t you? Come on, you know you do.
1) Mailing eBay package
2) Mailing Stacy’s birthday present (only a month late!)
3) Finishing Bil’s logo
4) Helping mom pack up stuff from garage sale & haul to good will
5) burning stuff in Mike’s yard
6) Helping David and Garrett scrape and paint their house
7) Make multiple copies of CD for CD club
8) Trim Annabelle’s nails
9) Laundry
Holy crap, I forgot I’m on vacation next week. Well that’s cool. I don’t feel so jammed up now.
Gee, wonder what dog was getting wagged with that tail?
UPDATE: Keith Olbermann of MSNBC documents the juxtaposition of terror alert increases with political events unfavorable to the President. The tail really is wagging the dog.
I think that Methodist Hospital has gone back to using the hand sanitizer I loathe the smell of. When I was in the hospital for the heart surgery, I know for certain the brand (and scent) was different than the foul stuff that they used back when I had my appendix emergency two years ago. When I was in the hospital then, I couldn’t figure out for the first several days what the smell I hated so bad was, until they took me off the catheter and I had to use the bathroom myself and wash my hands with it. I hated it so bad at the time that I got out of bed and went outside the hospital with my rolling IV bag and everything, just to get some fresh air.
But the same stuff was back when I was in the emergency room last week; I could smell it today in the hallways when I went in for my appointment. I need to learn what the brand name of that stuff is, so I can write hate mail to the company that makes it.
Scott asked the question on his blog. I think it’s probably wrong to feel so strongly about someone that you HATE them, and I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt and to curb my emotions when I can. Sometimes I’m actually successful at that. There are lots of people whom I disliked at one time, but ended up forgiving or finding common ground with over time. But with some people I just can’t get past the bitterness.
I tend to hate people for one of four reasons:
1) They’re pure evil but they’ve convinced themselves (and sometimes others) they’re morally good, and they try to call out others for behavior they engage in themselves. If you’re going to go around harming people, for pete’s sake, be self-aware enough to be open about it. I also dislike people who are evil and open about it, but I have a special loathing for people who are evil and sanctimonious. Hypocritical religious types fall into this category, although I know quite a few gay people who fit here too.
People who fit here: anti-gay religious people, Marla, Wally, Kathy S., the “Nerd Herd” from Big Brother 6.
2) People (usually gay men, but not always) who are constantly bitchy queens for no reason. There are times when being bitchy is highly appropriate, but generally looking down on and snarking on everyone, whether they’ve done something to you or not, is tiresome and stupid and will eventually get a smackdown from me.
People who fit here: Josh, the new pal of one of my oldest friends. He’s cruising for a vicious bruising. And not in the good way.
3) Authoritarian assholes and people drunk on power. The only people who get to tell me what to do are my bosses at work, and that’s just because they pay me. And even then I undermine authority whenever I get the chance.
People who fit here: George Bush, several people from Indiana Equality, a guy named Carter, various people who live in my neighborhood.
4) People who seem pleasant but I still instinctively dislike when I meet them. Usually I find out later that they fall into one of the above categories.
… is what my surgeon, Dr. Beckman told me this morning when I went to see him. I didn’t ask what sort of telephone he meant. Cell phone, or the large old-fashioned Ma Bell special?
I do have some swelling in my chest, but that is apparently strained muscle tissue from lifting too much stuff last week. The x-rays show my heart has healed great and my sternum is structurally good, just not ready to do 100% of what I used to do. Which is very frustrating, because I’m so used to just grabbing something and taking action, and I’ve always been pretty strong compared to other people. I feel kind of helpless and girly, which sucks, because that’s so not me.
As far as the incision goes, the irritation and pain I’m feeling from that is because I have a keloid, which is a thick, hard, painful piece of scar tissue where the incision was. There’s not much I can do about that until a year or two down the line when they might be able to do plastic surgery to make it look better, after it has healed completely and the skin has repaired itself. Until then, I just have to deal with the annoying prickly burning sensation.
So there you go.
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