Welcome To Cat Town

El GuapoDeedle doot doo dee dee, Let’s all go to Cat Town, Deedle doot doo dee dee, It’s time to go to Cat Town, and see everything that’s going down in… Cat Town!
El Guapo!
Hooray for El Guapo, he is the hero of Cat Town and he always saves the day. Meanwhile, at the cat food factory…
Q. who came up with Cat Town?
A. some guy who likes cats and towns
Q. what is it about?
A. it is about a town where everybody is a cat, haven’t you been paying attention?

Continue ReadingWelcome To Cat Town

Just in Time for The Anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s Death

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Our retarded moron President has declared the week of Oct 12- Oct 18 to be “Marriage Protection Week.” In other words, “Anti-Gay Hatred and Bigotry Week.” Apparently, marriage has to be protected from me. Why, George? Are you afraid I’d do a better job of it than you have? Cause it’s not like I can do any damage to the institution, frankly.
The fact that it falls on Matthew Shepard’s death anniversary is possibly accidental, but it certainly was planned to coincide with “National Coming Out Day” on Oct. 11th. This is about the last straw for me. If you want to hold a god damned anti-gay marriage week, at least keep it off of the holiday we’ve been celebrating since 1987.

Continue ReadingJust in Time for The Anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s Death

The thing about this “pro-Arnold” sign is….

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It’s not a handmade sign from someone in the crowd… It’s an official sign created by Schwarzenegger campaign and handed out to the people in the crowds, who were made to discard their own signs in favor of these.
Talk about controlling the spin… sheesh. There are quite a few stories, all related to Republican candidates, about crowd control and sign control on campaign stops. Freedom of speech? Freedom of assembly? Not in a Republican America, apparently.

Continue ReadingThe thing about this “pro-Arnold” sign is….

Top Ten Conservative Idiots (#129)

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Rush Limbaugh is listed twice (racism and illegal drugs) Arnold is listed twice (assaulting women and Nazi sympathies) and the Bush administration wins practically the rest of the list for illegally outing a CIA Agent in a fit of sullen retaliation. It’s not about the leaks, kids — it’s about the fact that the leak endangered national security.
And number Six bears repeating in it’s entirety:

#6. The Bush Administration
“Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction.” (Dick Cheney, August 26, 2002).
“Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving facilities that were used for the production of biological weapons.” (George W. Bush, September 12, 2002).
“If he declares he has none, then we will know that Saddam Hussein is once again misleading the world.” (Ari Fleischer, December 2, 2002).
“We know for a fact that there are weapons there.” (Ari Fleischer, January 9, 2003).
“Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam Hussein had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent.” (George W. Bush, January 28, 2003).
“We know that Saddam Hussein is determined to keep his weapons of mass destruction, is determined to make more.” (Colin Powell, February 5, 2003).
“We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons – the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have.” (George Bush February 8, 2003).
“So has the strategic decision been made to disarm Iraq of its weapons of mass destruction by the leadership in Baghdad? I think our judgment has to be clearly not.” (Colin Powell, March 8, 2003).
“Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised. (George Bush, March 18, 2003).
“We know where they are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad.” (Donald Rumsfeld, March 30, 2003).
“At this point we have found substantial evidence of an intent of senior level Iraqi officials, including Saddam, to continue production at some future point in time of weapons of mass destruction. We have not found yet, and I’m sure you know this, otherwise you would know it earlier, we have not found at this point, actual weapons.” (David Kay, chief U.S. weapons inspector in Iraq, October 3, 2003).
Emphasis added to underscore complete and utter uselessness of entire Bush administration.

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Just Got an E-mail from an irate reader

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of my site, who is objecting to the fact that I said the word “assault” in my headline of the previous post. Unwanted touching, done without consent, does indeed fall into the category of “assault.” It’s also ILLEGAL. No, Arnold didn’t rape the 14 (now 15) women who have made these statements, but he did assault them, according to the law, and by his own admission. That’s not just bad behavior. That’s CRIMINAL behavior. That shouldn’t be remedied with an apology. It should be remedied with a jail term. I’ll guarantee if it happened to me, the guy would be behind bars for some length of time.

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Arnold Assaults 14 women; people plan to vote for him anyway.

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At first there were seven women, over the weekend, seven more have come forward to say that Arnold Schwarzenegger has groped, fondled, manhandled, attempted to undress, or did undress them against them against their will, as recently as 2000.
And yet millions of people plan to vote for him anyway. If he wins, I won’t be visiting California with my tourist dollar anytime soon. And this pretty much guarantees I’ll never see T3 or any other movie he’s in.

Continue ReadingArnold Assaults 14 women; people plan to vote for him anyway.

World Beard Championships

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I have long been a proponent of elaborate, artistic facial hair styles. Sadly, I have little to no influence over my male friends and family in their choice of facial grooming habits, or they would all look like this. Fu manchu! Fu manchu!

As my co-workers examine the various facial hair styles available to the contestants, One co-worker projects what he might try to grow himself:

Rich

Whereas Mike suggests that the Championship is elitist, because they leave out the most interesting possibilities.

Facial Hair Options

Rich projects what Jerrod might look like with the “verdi” style beard, Jerrod declines to grow one.

Jerrod

Sigh. I’ll have to settle for a monocle for myself.

2019-04-18 update: Oh, this is a really funny post looking back after 16 years.

Hawthorn Mineart
Hawthorn Mineart
Continue ReadingWorld Beard Championships