happiness begins with a smile and a wink
Unless life decides to slap you for going around winking at it.
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
Yup.
Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians
But what about Dr. Carrie Weaver? she’s pretty great.
You are a bundle of energy, always on the go
and it has nothing to do with caffeine, I swear.
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader
Ha! you haven’t seen how I get treated on the gayindy mailing list.
You are kind-hearted and hospitable, cheerful an well-liked.
We determined when I got this one that it was the anti-fortune cookie, where the opposite is true than real life.
You have a yearning for perfection
hmmm. I think this cookie must have been for my older brother. I’m basically happy with anything that’s 15% more than half-ass.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
And this one’s for him, too.
Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
Cool.
You are going to have a very comfortable old age.
That’s cause I’m on the Okinawa Program
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
Actually, that’s kinda true
You will have a visitor soon–keep the door locked.
acck!
You are original and creative.
Now you’re just sucking up.
Take a vacation, you will have unexpected gains.
Can’t I just get rich sitting on my butt at home?
Promptness to go to a friend in adversity is appreciated.
But is it absolutely necessary? Because I’m kinda busy.
You will realize your dreams by your own efforts.
You find beauty in ordinary things; do not lose this ability.
Any rough times are now behind you.
Good to know. I’m holding you to this one.
You will enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury.
And run-on sentences.
Today is a lucky day for those who are cheerful and optimistic.
Good for them. I’ll endeavor not to beat them up.
Love truth but pardon error.
It’s not error I have a problem with, it’s intentional bad behavior.
When one lacks a sense of awe, there will be disaster.
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
A wise man knows everything; A shrewd one, everybody.
Count me as wise.
God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.
So I’m two-faced, you’re sayin’?
Wake up. You are under the lucky star now.
What? What? I’m awake. What were you saying?
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
Unlike that one girl I went out with who, when I asked her to go to the IMA, said, “I don’t like Art.” Of course, the first think I thought was “Vandelay?” (and so did my friend Karl when I told him the story) but I thought it would be bad form to make a Seinfeld joke, so I said “Um. Like, in general?” I thought maybe sculpture was cool, but not painting… She didn’t answer, and we never went out again. And I still don’t know quite what she meant.
You are demonstrative with those you love.
Yeah, come’re you! Let me give you an indian burn! You know I love ya!
An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
And you should always eat before going to the grocery store, I know.
A friend asks only for your time, not your money.
This just makes me feel guilty about the number of times I borrowed money from people back in college.