Quote of the Day: Reform

Courtesy “O Brother Where Art Thou“:

Reform? I’ll reform you, you soft-headed sonofabitch! How we gonna run reform when we’re the damn incumbent!

Y’ignorant slope-shouldered sack a guts! Why we’d look like a buncha satchel-ass Johnnie-Come-Latelies braggin’ on our own midget! Don’t matter how stumpy! And that’s the goddamn problem right there – people think this Stokes got fresh ideas, he’s oh coorant and we the past.

Continue ReadingQuote of the Day: Reform

Eliminationist Quotes from Conservative Voices

What, really, is eliminationism?

It’s a fairly self-explanatory term: it describes a kind of politics and culture that shuns dialogue and the democratic exchange of ideas for the pursuit of outright elimination of the opposing side, either through complete suppression, exile and ejection, or extermination.

Liberal Hunting Permit
Liberal Hunting Permit

Source: Eliminationism in America: Appendix

“I tell people don’t kill all the liberals. Leave enough so we can have two on every campus — living fossils — so we will never forget what these people stood for.” — Rush Limbaugh

“I would have no problem with [New York Times editor Bill Keller] being sent to the gas chamber.” — Melanie Morgan

“”[T]he day will come when unpleasant things are going to happen to a bunch of stupid liberals and it’s going to be very amusing to watch.” — Lee Rogers

“And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we’re not going to do anything about it. We’re going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.” — Bill O’Reilly

“Howard Dean should be arrested and hung for treason or put in a hole until the end of the Iraq war!”– Michael Reagan

“Let’s start with the following New York Times reporters and editors: Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger Jr. , Bill Keller, Eric Lichtblau, and James Risen. Do you have an idea where they live? Go hunt them down and do America a favor. Get their photo, street address, where their kids go to school, anything you can dig up, and send it to the link above. This is your chance to be famous — grab for the golden ring.” — “The Political Insight”

Ann Coulter

“Some liberals have become even too crazy for Texas to execute, which is a damn shame. They’re always saying — we’re oppressed, we’re oppressed so let’s do it. Let’s oppress them.” — Ann Coulter

“We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens’ creme brulee. … That’s just a joke, for you in the media.” — Ann Coulter

LINDA VESTER (host): You say you’d rather not talk to liberals at all?

COULTER: I think a baseball bat is the most effective way these days.

“My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”

“We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too.”

“They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America’s self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant. Fifty years of treason hasn’t slowed them down.”

“I have to say I’m all for public flogging.”

“I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote.”

“Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam, post 9/11. Even Islamic terrorists don’t hate America like liberals do. They don’t have the energy. If they had that much energy, they’d have indoor plumbing by now.”

“My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that’s because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism.”

“In this recurring nightmare of a presidency, we have a national debate about whether he [Clinton] ‘did it,’ even though all sentient people know he did. Otherwise there would be debates only about whether to impeach or assassinate.”

And Many Many more — read the comprehensive post at Orcinus.

Continue ReadingEliminationist Quotes from Conservative Voices

Um, no, dear. Not really.

“It is because of me — I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal.”

— Tila Tequila to Us magazine on how she contributed to the legalization of gay marriage in California

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Continue ReadingUm, no, dear. Not really.

Reading: Ruth 1:16-17

Entreat me not to leave thee,
or to return from following after thee:
for whither thou goest, I will go;
and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:
thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
Where thou diest, will I die,
and there will I be buried:
the LORD do so to me, and more also,
if ought but death part thee and me.

Continue ReadingReading: Ruth 1:16-17

1st Corinthians 13:4-13

Love is patient,
love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant.
Love does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
But now faith, hope, love,
abide these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

Continue Reading1st Corinthians 13:4-13

Best Acceptance Speech Ever

“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Can you believe this shit? Hell has frozen over. Suck it, Jesus, this award is my god now.” — Kathy Griffin, accepting an Emmy award for her show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.
Reportedly, the show will be censored to edit out part or all of Griffin’s acceptance speech after protests by Catholic League windbag, Bill Donohue. Once again, I’d like to say – Bill, go fuck yourself. Asshole.

Continue ReadingBest Acceptance Speech Ever

My Past Falwell Greatest Hits

Joke posts about Falwell I posted in the past that are getting traffic now that he’s died. No guarantees on the quality of the jokes…

The Theological Significance of Tinky Winky

5 Reasons Tinky Winky Can’t Be Gay

The Top 13 Reasons Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay

The Batty Hymn of the Repugnant

Top Ten Jerry Falwell Pet Peeves About TV

And while we’re at it, some of Jerry’s Actual Greatest Hits—quotes from the man himself.

“AIDS is God’s punishment to gays.” – Jerry Falwell

“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.”

“I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!”

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

“There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.”

“AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh’s charioteers.”

“Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.”

“The whole (global warming) thing is created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability.”

“(9/11 is the result of) throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad…I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America…I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen.”

“The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”

“It appears that America’s anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men’s movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.”

“When lawlessness is abroad in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany. Many of those people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists. Many of them were homosexuals. The two things seem to go together.” – 700 Club, 1-21-93
“You know, one of the great misnomers in our society is the term `gay.’ That somebody who is involved in something that is leading to suicide, where the V.D. rate is 11 times that of others, which are almost driven and ashamed and fearful and confused and psychotic and all the others that we read about plaguing this part of our society. The term gay is the most serious misuse of the English language. They’re not gay, they’re very, very depressed and miserable.” – 700 Club, 5-6-82

“When you see the rise of blatant open homosexuality and lesbianism, what you also know is God has given a society up…and we’re at the mercy of the elements, the mercy of war, the mercy of economic disaster.” – 700 Club, 4-26-93

“The radical left is doing everything they can to destroy the moral fiber of America. They want to do away with the family. I am absolutely persuaded one of the reasons so many lesbians are at the forefront of the pro-choice movement is because being a mother is the unique characteristic of womanhood, and these lesbians will never be mothers naturally, so they don’t want anybody else to have that privilege either.” – 700 Club, 5-18-93

“[Vice President Gore] recently praised the lesbian actress who plays ‘Ellen’ on ABC Television…I believe he may even put children, young people, and adults in danger by his public endorsement of deviant homosexual behavior…Our elected leaders are attempting to glorify and legitimize perversion.” People for the American Way, “Hostile Climate”, 1998

Continue ReadingMy Past Falwell Greatest Hits