Pepper

Here’s the whole story on the previous rant I posted:

I live next to the Talbott Street Bar, and I’ve had a lot of problems with the bar patrons parking in my backyard and also parking in front of my house, waking me up late, leaving piles of beer bottles and fast food trash in my front yard and trespassing through my side yard on the way to the bar.

In addition to this, some of my friends have been less than considerate while attending the bar. They’ve come by late at night when I’m in bed and either awakened me or tried to. They’ve parked at my house without permission, etc.

A couple weeks ago, I invited some friends over to my house, including a woman I recently met named Pepper. We all went out later to Talbott Street Bar. Since then, Pepper seems to think that she has free reign to park in my backyard whenever she wants to to go to the bar, without letting me know or getting my permission to do so.

The night after we all went out, Pepper parked at my house with a friend. I didn’t recognize the car, so I called the tow truck to take the car away. When I went out to meet the tow truck, I realized there were people in the car having sex. I didn’t know who it was, so I called the police to have them arrested. Turns out it was Pepper and her friend. I was really embarrassed, and angry, too. They apologized, took me out to dinner, etc., but Pepper never seemed to really understand, despite the fact that I said it about 20 times, that I don’t want anyone parking at my house.

So last night, I met friends out at Utopia. Pepper mentioned that she and her guy friend were going to Talbott Street. I said 3 times, “Have fun. Don’t park at my house.” Apparently, she thought I was joking because she went right ahead and parked at my house late at night. I discovered her car because I had a guest coming to visit me, and she couldn’t park at my house because the space was taken by Pepper’s car. So my guest had to park down the street and walk to my house.

I was incredibly pissed off. Twice I picked up the phone to call the tow truck, but I decided to try to manage my anger. I wrote a polite note asking her not to do it again, and went out and put it on her car.

At about 2 a.m., I got an unbelievable answering machine message from Pepper. She ranted, she raved, she cursed at me and told me to fuck off. It’s an amazing message. You’ll get to hear it yourself soon, because I’m converting it to mp3 for download, so that the 22,000 people who visit this site every day will have the chance for a good laugh at her expense. It’s always nice when assholes shoot themselves in the foot, so you don’t have to.

I now have the tow truck on speed dial.