If you can’t maim them, Auntie Mame them
Mame Dennis: Well, now, uh, read me all the words you don’t understand.
Patrick Dennis: Libido, inferiority complex, stinko, blotto, free love, bathtub gin, monkey glands, Karl Marx… is he one of the Marx Brothers?
Patrick Dennis: …Neurotic, heterosexual…
Mame Dennis: Oh, my my my my, what an eager little mind.
[takes the list]
Mame Dennis: You won’t need some of these words for months and months.
—
Patrick Dennis: Is the English lady sick, Auntie Mame?
Auntie Mame: She’s not English, darling… she’s from Pittsburgh.
Patrick Dennis: She sounded English.
Auntie Mame: Well, when you’re from Pittsburgh, you have to do something.
—
Mame Dennis: That’s a B. It’s the first letter of a seven-letter word that means your father.
—
Auntie Mame: Please dear, your Auntie Mame is hung.
—
MAME: You know, I was always fascinated by aviation. I never knew they did it all with rubber bands.
—
Vera Charles: If you kept your hair natural like I do…
Auntie Mame: If I kept my hair natural like yours, I’d be bald.
—
MAME: Mr. Babbit–
MR. BABCOCK: BabCOCK.
MAME: Yes.
—
Auntie Mame: Oh, Agnes! Here you’ve been taking my dictations for weeks and you haven’t gotten the message of my book: live!
Agnes Gooch: Live?
Auntie Mame: Yes! Live! Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!
—
Gloria: Don’t you just think books are so decorative?