It’s a Minstrel Show, Folks.

My friend Lori posted some thoughts on the new season of Queer As Folk, and this caught my eye:

interesting – the showtime website has a question in the FAQ – “Which of the cast members are gay in real life?” Showtime’s answer: “Some of the actors are gay, and some of them are straight.” – not mentioning who’s who….i found a larry king interview with the cast, and it turns out only two of em, Randy Harrison and Peter Paige are truly fags…just seems a bit strange that there’s this huge queer show and only 2 of em are really gay… not good strange, not bad strange, just strange….

Here’s my two cents: it’s bad strange. I challenge you to go to any restaurant in Califor-ni-ay and not have your food served by a gay actor. There are thousands of them out there, if not hundreds of thousands. So it’s not just strange that 98% of all gay characters on TV and in the movies are played by straight actors, while the gay actors wait tables. It’s happening because of discrimination, for the same reason that Amos and Andy used to have black characters played by white people in black face. Because people aren’t comfortable knowing the the guy playing the gay role is actually gay. But it’s okay if it’s all pretend.

Case in point: Several years ago, Spin City has a gay male character kiss a straight male character as a joke. It got huge laughs, and played in prime time with no objections. That same night, Ellen Degeneres’ character kissed a straight female character as a joke. It did not get huge laughs. It was pushed back to a later time slot, and it got a parental advisory warning. What was the difference between the two? On Ellen, the actor playing the part was gay. On Spin City, the actor playing the gay character was straight.

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Rosie Comes Out

“They’re saying I’m not gay enough. They say I lied because I said I love Tom Cruise. I do love Tom Cruise. What do I have to do, have sex with Angelina Jolie on TV?” — Rosie O’Donnell, lashing out at people who quibble with her coming-out technique at a benefit for ovarian cancer in New York on Monday night.
Yes, Rosie, yes you do. Please. Go ahead; I’ll watch.

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executing gay people

I’ve pointed out to my family members, at various times, that there are people who want to kill me, and that these people have connections to the Republicans they keep putting into office, but I don’t think they’ve ever taken me very seriously.

“Let us give thanks,” Army of God “chaplain” Rev. Michael Bray proclaimed on the Army of God Web site, after sword-wielding officials in Saudi Arabia beheaded three gay men New Year’s Day. The official Saudi Press Agency reported that the men had “committed acts of sodomy, married each other, seduced young men and attacked those who rebuked them.”

Best known for its terror campaign against abortion providers, the militant Army of God has lately displayed a virulent antigay animus in recent postings on its Web site. The sudden trend has set off alarms among human rights groups.

“This is really chilling,” Surina Khan, executive director of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, told Salon. “It really disturbs me, in terms of the rhetoric and what effect it has.”

Ironically, the Army of God is expressing new solidarity with Muslim extremists just as the right-wing extremists have come under new scrutiny by the U.S. government for their own links to terror, post-Sept. 11. The violence-prone Army of God drew intensified federal attention thanks to its praise (“great idea!”) for the anthrax scare at 550 clinics and abortion rights organizations last fall, perpetrated by self-described antiabortion “terrorist” Clayton Waagner. Waagner signed his threats “Army of God.”

On the Homefront: This weekend, I moved most of my breakable stuff, all my framed artwork, most of my electronics, and some small pieces of furniture. Also one of the bunk beds, so if I want to stay over at the new place, I can. Still to pack: clothes, office supplies, rest of kitchen stuff. I’ll try to get as much of that done tonight as I can. I procrastinated on the packing, which I hate to do, by moving stuff that didn’t necessarily need to be moved. And I think I’m afraid to move in, which is another reason I’ve avoided the packing. I’m really kind of freaked out.

I need to be careful when moving paperwork — got to keep track of stuff I need to do, like send in my first mortgage payment. That would suck if I forgot that. 🙂

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having a will

This is the reason I’m writing up a will.
I realized last night that I’m not going to get the house. I won’t know for sure until 10 today, but I’m fairly sure I’m not going to get it. Which means I’m taking my earnest money check and buying a big screen TV this weekend. Woo Hoo!!!!! Home theater at my house. (Note, I didn’t actually do this. I held out for a house.)

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Andrew Sullivan and “private behavior”

Joan Walsh says in regards to Andrew Sullivan: “It seems as if there’s a brand-new, very simple standard for when the private behavior of a public figure is news: when he or she writes something that makes enemies.”

No, that’s not a fair characterization of what Signorile or others said.

Your private behavior becomes newsworthy when that private behavior is at odds with your publicly expressed views, especially when those views, like Sullivan’s, critique and condemn in others the very sort of behavior that you are secretly practicing.

Practice what you preach, preach what you practice, and above all to thine ownself be true, and you’ll never end up in hot water with Michaelangelo Signorile.

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Gay for Good: Can straight guys become happy homosexuals?

By Jefferson Morley

“Most mental-health organizations have passed resolutions discouraging the use of so-called reparative therapies intended to change homosexuals into heterosexuals, saying no scientific evidence exists to show they are effective.” —- New York Times, May 9, 2001

To people who say that psychotherapy cannot change a person’s sexual orientation, Dr. Rafe Da Vinci of Miami Beach says, “Numbers aren’t straight or queer, they’re clear. And the numbers show that therapy can change orientation, especially among men.”

Da Vinci, a veteran psychiatrist with a booming practice in a Collins Avenue high-rise, is attracting growing attention in the debate about so-called “reparative therapies” that seek to change a person’s sexual orientation. Doctors, gay rights activists, and others who say that sexual orientation is determined early in life have questioned claims that people with homosexual tendencies can overcome them via psychotherapy. Da Vinci’s practice focuses on an oft-neglected group at the heart of this debate: straight men who wish to become gay.

“Survey data from submarines, discos, and prisons show that anywhere from 9 to 23 percent of males say they have a desire to become gay,” Da Vinci said in a recent interview. “I think we have shown that these same men, if they commit themselves to an intensive course of therapy, can become happy homosexuals.”

Heterosexual rights activists have questioned Da Vinci’s data and criticized his politics, saying that his practice stigmatizes perfectly normal straight people and exploits their feelings of shame and guilt. Critics also allege that Da Vinci supported a resolution at the 1978 American Congress of Psychotherapists defining heterosexuality as a “uniquely vexing condition.” The motion was narrowly defeated. Da Vinci denies any intention of fomenting intolerance of the straight lifestyle, saying that he was married to his third wife at the time.

Bearded, avuncular, and outspoken, Da Vinci has attracted hundreds of clients from all over south Florida with a controversial counseling regimen that includes group discussions about how best to cope with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. There are also frequent trips to Dean & DeLuca and a reading list that includes Remembrance of Things Past, Dennis Rodman’s memoirs, and The Seven Habits of Highly Homosexual People.

“In Freudian terms, we seek to reverse the Oedipal cycle, transferring the object identification with the unrealizable female Other into a more cognitive attachment to a responsible male, preferably one with a BMW,” Da Vinci explained.

Originally a skeptic about reparative therapies, Da Vinci now says he is a believer.

“The non-straight heterosexual can reconcile his value system and his orientation,” he says. “I’ve seen it happen in my office.”

Da Vinci’s latest book, Going Gay (Gomorrah Press), is now ranked 14,342 on the Amazon.com best-seller list and is climbing rapidly. His claims of success, while hotly disputed by heterosexual rights activists, are beginning to receive respectful coverage in professional journals. Last year Da Vinci published a peer-reviewed article in the Journal of Gendered Genetics that is stirring debate on the Internet and on talk radio shows in some parts of Western Australia.

Out of 111 men who had undergone his “Gay for Good” course of therapy for at least a year, Da Vinci reported that 29 said that they no longer had sexual fantasies involving Rachel from Friends. An additional 21 men reported that while they still hoped to date Anna Kournikova someday, they were “somewhat happier” with their homosexual lifestyle. Da Vinci acknowledges that a slight majority of the men, 55 in total, reverted back to a straight lifestyle. Six of the reversion group, he noted, had committed suicide.

“Clearly, this therapy isn’t for everybody,” Da Vinci said.

The most common motivating factors cited by men who want to become gay, according to Da Vinci’s survey, were “morality” (58 percent), “better clothes” (39 percent), and “more quality time at the gym” (28 percent).

“A lot of these guys say they deeply believe that it’s just not right to get into a reproductive relationship in an era of dwindling natural resources,” Da Vinci said. “Others want to uphold the moral values exemplified by Western thinkers from Socrates to Allan Bloom.”

Da Vinci expressed surprise that among the motivations of those seeking to stay gay for good, “more sexual partners” only barely edged out “less watching of football” (22 percent to 21 percent). He said older patients in his study group most often cited “live like Cary Grant” (11 percent) and “a lot more sexual partners” (9 percent) as reasons for leaving the straight lifestyle. Younger clients spoke of “increased opportunities for meeting Ricky Martin in person” (5 percent).

Garth LeBouche, executive director of the Straight Support Network, a heterosexual activist group based in Arlington, Texas, decried Da Vinci’s claims as “agenda-driven.”

He criticized Da Vinci’s reports about heterosexual suicide. According to published interviews, two of the men cited in Da Vinci’s study had not committed suicide but had perished from heat exhaustion at a PTA meeting. A third fatality, LeBouche said, had strangled on a Happy Meal toy while playing with his 4-year-old son.

“Do those sound like men who died unhappy about their heterosexuality?” LeBouche said in a telephone interview. “Only an intolerant extremist would say such a thing.”

LeBouche praised the recent decision of the Bush administration to reverse an executive order issued by President Clinton on his last day in office that would have included “Gay for Good” on a list of reparative therapies paid for by the U.S. Navy’s health plan.

“This crazy notion that we can talk people into loving someone else should not be financed by the U.S. taxpayer,” LeBouche said.

Da Vinci, a registered Republican who voted for McCain, says he regrets the administration’s decision but will not contest it.

“Ending coverage will most likely hurt unit morale. On those submarines where the presence of straight people may be perceived by homosexuals as incompatible with tradition, the Gay for Good program helped some sailors fit in. Now, unhappy heterosexuals, who I suspect voted overwhelmingly for Bush, will have nowhere to turn. It’s sad.”

The tanned and buff doctor scoffs at published reports in the gay press that he is a closet heterosexual. He says that he and his longtime spiritual companion of three weeks, physical trainer Ferdinand Mateo of Brazil, are now seeking to develop conversion therapy for women.

“Our research,” Da Vinci says, “suggests that up to 72 percent of all adult females say that heterosexual men are either emotionally unavailable, financially untrustworthy, sexually selfish, hygienically challenged, prone to illusions of grandeur, or all of the above. If we can help millions of women to become lesbians, we think that would probably be a net plus for human happiness.”

Continue ReadingGay for Good: Can straight guys become happy homosexuals?

FABULAIR … Blueprint For The First Gay Airline

Author Unknown

Welcome Aboard

The Fabulair experience begins when you call our reservations number, 900-FLY-FABU. We know you can make reservations on other airlines for free. But our 900 number is only 28c/minute (50% of all proceeds go to the Human Rights Campaign), and our reservationists are very good on the phone.

Your tickets will arrive in a sleek Deisel leather ticket folio. Your seat assignment (only aisle or window, no middle) is pre-reserved and your inflight menu is included because we know how long it takes some of you to make up your minds, especially with a menu as fabulous as ours. When you arrive at the airport, you’ll recognize our terminal immediately. Richard Sabala did the lights. Susan Morabito did the music. Thierry Mugler did the departure lounge. Outside, we have a specially commissioned sculpture of Amelia Earhart and Ellen DeGeneres as "traveling companions." Our sky caps, muscles bulging under their Raymond Dragon uniforms, will check your luggage. We allow five pieces, not two, and no extra charge for golf clubs, ladies.

You Know You’ve Arrived

Stroll through our luxurious terminal to your gate. We only use walk-through metal detectors on request; a physical body search is preferred by most of our passengers. (Body cavity searches are, unfortunately, limited to international flights.) Follow the red velvet roping up to the plane door. The gate agent will take your ticket and give you your wristband boarding pass. Keep it on – it’s color-coded to indicate whether you’re aggressively single, possibly available, or married.

On board we have no flight attendants. Just stewardesses. Even the guys. They’re young, tall, thin, gorgeous, dressed by Chanel and trained by RuPaul – they’re gonna work! Butch has no place in our aisles. If butch is what you’re after, lust after our baggage handlers. Hired from Colt and Falcon Studios, they just can’t seem to keep their shirts on. Our cockpit crew? All gay men and lesbians discharged from the military.

If There’s Anything We Can Do…

Fabulair is bringing style back to air travel. Settle into your seat. What do you notice? It’s comfortable. And it matches your outfit. Overhead, you’ll find reading lights plus tanning lights. The black leather seats smell as good as they feel. You can’t wait to fasten your seatbelt low and tight against your waist. Aaah. You’re ready for takeoff. You’ll never see "Honey, I Blew Up the Kids" on Fabulair. We only show movies starring Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Madonna or Jody Foster. Or movies about women in love. With each other. Care for a magazine? Vanity Fair… Out…. Curve… Genre?… Sorry, we gave out our last copy of HX, but our chief purser would be happy to show you around New York personally.

The Airphone at every seat has speed dial for Bill Clinton, Barney Frank, Elizabeth Birch, Tzabaco, International Male, and J. Crew, for the non-stop activist and shopaholic. Perhaps you’d like to listen to our specially selected audio entertainment. Channel 1: kd lang. Channel 2: Pet Shop Boys. Channel 3: The Indigo Girls. Channel 4: Junior’s "Dancing on Air" party mix (a Fabulair exclusive). Channel 5: Melissa Etheridge. Channel 6: Nothing but show tunes.

Before you know it, your flight will be over. But don’t be sad. You’ve earned lots of frequent flyer miles, good towards your next trip on Fabulair. We regret that they are blacked out for the Black Party, White Party, Gay Pride, Hotlanta and Halloween, but use them over any of the other holidays. Bonus miles? Sure. Stay at a gay B&B. Get a Rainbow Card. Use Community Spirit Long Distance. Take an Olivia Cruise. Subscribe to Out & About. Triple Miles? Just date one of our employees.

Too Fabulous

Our in-flight service is not coach, business or first. It’s so fabulous, we named it Fabulous Class. It may seem like first class on other airlines, but we never use those words, because nothing we do is second class.

We recognize however, that many of our passengers are too special and important, even for Fabulous Class. For those who require the utmost in privacy and luxury we have an exclusive cabin that we call Too Fabulous Class. Too Fabulous passengers don’t need tickets. We know who you are. Our already generous luggage limit is waived for you.

At boarding time, come right to the front of the red roping. Even though we have short lines, we kept the roping because we know you like it. On board, you’ll notice the little touches that make a difference. A full harness replaces the standard seatbelt. A stewardess for every passenger. Marble bathrooms big enough for two. Live entertainment and a personal video screen with personal video choices. We couldn’t improve our service, so we just added more.

Massage. Manicure. Hair styling. Waxing and electrolysis (LA flights only). And group psychotherapy in our upstairs lounge. We think you’ll agree, it’s a fabulous world on Fabulair, the world’s first all-gay airline.

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Will & Grace, Things Are Not Better for Gay People on Television

Despite the presence of gay characters on TV, there are still no openly gay actors on television, and that’s a problem. The real problem with Ellen wasn’t that her character was gay, or that there were too many gay themed shows, as some people claimed.

It was that Ellen Degeneres, not the character Ellen Morgan, was gay. During the debate over ratings and issues that surrounded the cancellation of her show, the example that proves that point, the real reason the show was no longer on the air, got overlooked.

During Ellen’s last season, there was an evening in which Ellen show aired at 9 p.m. Airing that same night at 8 p.m. there was an episode of Spin City. On that show, the gay character Carter, (played by a heterosexual man) kisses the heterosexual character Mike Flaherty as a joke. The fact that it happened was practially ignored, except that it aired as the promo for the show for days before hand.

That same evening on Ellen at 9 p.m., Ellen Morgan, a gay character, kisses her heterosexual friend Paige as a joke. Not only was it a big deal, it was given a warning prior to the show, and was universally criticized afterwards.

What was the difference between the two events? Both featured a gay character kissing a straight character in a romantic way, but as a joke. The only difference was that one of the real-life actors in the second show was gay in real life.

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Young Americans

The summer season of the WB’s show “Young Americans” ended last night. This is, certainly, one of the strangest shows I’ve seen on TV It’s almost a homoerotic wet dream with dozens of gorgeous, doe-eyed, apple-cheeked, buffed young men running around at an all-boys pre-ivy league prep school. Almost homo. They try to clean it up a little to get it under the hetero radar.

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