The online journal, notebook and playground of HFM

Happily Ever After

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I believe in happily ever after. No I’m not the whole rainbows and unicorns type of person, but I do believe in a loving relationship that can stand the test of time. I know it can happen because I’ve seen it in action. My grandparents have been married for over 60 years. They treat each other with respect and love, and they’ve built a loving home and an enormous, successful and happy family. My grandparent’s house is filled with joy, and has always been one of those touchstones in my life that I can go back to when I’m stressed or unhappy. My grandfather and grandmother are true role models for hard work, respect, love and compassion, and I can’t think of two people that I’d rather be like. I don’t always succeed in being that kind of person, but I’m trying.

Part of the reason I wanted to buy the house I have is because it reminds me of my grandparents house, which like mine is over 100 years old. I want to build for myself the kind of life that they created… the life that created me. That’s a legacy I’d like to pass on. I think that’s part of the reason that I get so bent out of shape when people are trespassing, stealing things, dealing drugs in front of my house, having sex in my yard. They’re intruding on the dream I’m trying to build, and it makes me upset that people are bringing such ugliness into something beautiful I want to create. I’m not going to give up on this house, no matter what, because it represents something important to me. I may never have a 60th wedding anniversary, but if I can only achieve some small part of that, it will be enough for me.

I’ve been thinking about my grandparents since I talked to my friend Lisa on the phone last night. I keep asking myself how they would deal with the situation I’m dealing with. Both of my grandparents are strong people, and neither of them are the type of people to roll over and play dead when faced with a confrontation. I can’t help but continue to think that I’m doing the right thing.

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Disputes with friends are never dignified

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I just got a cell phone call from Pepper ordering me to take down my previous post. I told her I wouldn’t, and she said I’d hear from her lawyer. I said go ahead.

She said, “Aren’t you afraid of libel?” I informed her that the legal definition of libel states that the statement I’m making has to be false. And, of course, what I stated is true, and I can prove it with answering machine message, which is already in numerous digital formats in preparation for posting.

So she said, “one way or another, if you don’t take it down, you’re going to pay.” So I hung up on her. At least I know that I made her as angry as she made me, which makes me feel much better. 🙂

For the record — it’s my site. I say what I want to say, when I want to say it, and I don’t make statements that aren’t true. If that doesn’t sit well with you, there’s nothing I can do. I’m not going to censor myself to please anyone, and if respecting that isn’t important to you, then maybe it’s better that we’re not friends. If you know anything about me, you know that I don’t take orders from anyone. I also don’t respond to threats. I’ve proven time and again that I’m willing to call the police to deal with people who threaten my property or me.

(2014 update: I should just take down this post. But… I wasn’t wrong. Childish and an asshole, but not really wrong.)

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Talbott Street Bar Issues

Here’s the whole story on the previous rant I posted:

I live next to the Talbott Street Bar, and I’ve had a lot of problems with the bar patrons parking in my backyard and also parking in front of my house, waking me up late, leaving piles of beer bottles and fast food trash in my front yard and trespassing through my side yard on the way to the bar.

In addition to this, some of my friends have been less than considerate while attending the bar. They’ve come by late at night when I’m in bed and either awakened me or tried to. They’ve parked at my house without permission, etc.

A couple weeks ago, I invited some friends over to my house, including a woman I recently met named Pepper. We all went out later to Talbott Street Bar. Since then, Pepper seems to think that she has free reign to park in my backyard whenever she wants to to go to the bar, without letting me know or getting my permission to do so.

The night after we all went out, Pepper parked at my house with a friend. I didn’t recognize the car, so I called the tow truck to take the car away. When I went out to meet the tow truck, I realized there were people in the car having sex. I didn’t know who it was, so I called the police to have them arrested. Turns out it was Pepper and her friend. I was really embarrassed, and angry, too. They apologized, took me out to dinner, etc., but Pepper never seemed to really understand, despite the fact that I said it about 20 times, that I don’t want anyone parking at my house.

So last night, I met friends out at Utopia. Pepper mentioned that she and her guy friend were going to Talbott Street. I said 3 times, “Have fun. Don’t park at my house.” Apparently, she thought I was joking because she went right ahead and parked at my house late at night. I discovered her car because I had a guest coming to visit me, and she couldn’t park at my house because the space was taken by Pepper’s car. So my guest had to park down the street and walk to my house.

I was incredibly pissed off. Twice I picked up the phone to call the tow truck, but I decided to try to manage my anger. I wrote a polite note asking her not to do it again, and went out and put it on her car.

At about 2 a.m., I got an unbelievable answering machine message from Pepper. She ranted, she raved, she cursed at me and told me to fuck off. It’s an amazing message. You’ll get to hear it yourself soon, because I’m converting it to mp3 for download, so that the 22,000 people who visit this site every day will have the chance for a good laugh at her expense. It’s always nice when assholes shoot themselves in the foot, so you don’t have to.

I now have the tow truck on speed dial.

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No Parking

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I thought I had communicated this to all of my friends, but apparently the message isn’t getting across. I AM NOT THE AUXILIARY PARKING LOT FOR THE TALBOTT STREET BAR. IF YOU PARK AT MY HOUSE FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN TO SEE ME, I WILL HAVE YOU TOWED. What does it take to get this message through to everyone? Do you want me to use your garage to park to attend some event in your neighborhood? I didn’t think so.

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Tom Greene / Drew Barrymore divorce

Okay, check out the divorce papers of Tom Greene and Drew Barrymore, and compare what Tom claims are his intellectual property rights versus the intellectual property Drew owns. Hmmm. I think in this divorce, Drew must get to keep the talent. The trouble is that Tom is claiming intellectual ownership of “The Subway Monkey Hour.” Apparently he doesn’t realize that monkeys are mine.

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