The online journal, notebook and playground of HFM

Discouraged Gay Men Chain Letter

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author unknown

This letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged gay men.

Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then, bundle up your partner or boyfriend and send him to the man whose name appears at the top of this list, and add your name to the bottom.

When your turn comes, you will receive 16,255 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the time of this writing, a friend of mine has already received 184 men, four of whom were worth keeping.

Remember – this chain brings luck. Bob of Omaha’s dog died, and the next day he received a bodybuilder.

You can be lucky too, so DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN! Seth of Boise broke the chain and got his own boyfriend back.

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The Gay Genie

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  • Post category:Gay Jokes

Author Unknown

A gay man was walking along the beach at Fire Island when he stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, out popped a gay genie.

The Genie said, "Hey Girl, wassup?"

The amazed man asked if he got three wishes.

"Nope, just one…due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages, third-world countries, my new pumps pinching my big toes, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So…what’ll it be? The complete set of Tyson Cane videos? A copy of the Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday Mr. President sequined dress in your size with matching shoes?"

The man shook his head ‘no’, and didn’t hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and shrieked, "Miss Thaaaaaang, I don’t think so, not in this lifetime!! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish."

The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man, you know, one that’s considerate and fun, warm and affectionate, gorgeous, is well endowed, only wants sex from me, doesn’t do drugs or drink too much, has a great job with a good income, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and tells me I always look fabulous, and is great in bed. That’s what I wish for… the perfect guy to have as my lover."

The Genie let out a long sigh, clutched his hand to his heart and said, "Oh Miss Thang… let me see that map again."

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The Perfect Man

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  • Post category:Gay Jokes

The Perfect Man is gentle
Never cruel or mean.
He has a beautiful smile,
And keeps his face so clean.
The Perfect Man likes children,
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The Perfect Man loves cooking,
cleaning and vaccuuming, too.
He’ll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love to you.
The Perfect Man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He’s a best friend to your mother,
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry,
Or battered you in any way.
To hell with this endless poem,

The Perfect Man is gay.

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Interment of American Citizens

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  • Post category:Politics

In the IT’S STARTING ALREADY Department — a congressman who heads a homeland security subcommittee said on a radio call-in program that he agreed with the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II and suggests that such interment for Arab-Americans may occur in the future. I don’t know about you, but as a gay person, I’m looking over some survivalist programs. Because if they come to lock me up, which is becoming a more realistic threat every day, I’m going to be ready for them.

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Groundhog Day!

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  • Post category:Odd Holidays

Not only did I totally space Groundhog’s Day (my favorite holiday of all!) but I forgot the Chinese New Year, too. Crap. I love the chinese new year. Stupid Yahoo calendar is supposed to remind me of stuff like that. Just for that, I’m going all out for Arbor Day this year.

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