10. Angels Shouldn’t Go Around "Touching" Anyone
9. Mister Rogers’ sissy loafers.
8. "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane" are lesbian, gay, gay and lesbian.
7. Bastards at MTV didn’t even look at my "Road Rules" audition tape.
6. If you don’t pay the bill on time, Playboy channel gets all fuzzy.
5. Fox won’t even consider "World’s Wildest Baptism Accidents"
4. History Channel only presents negative aspects of Spanish Inquisition
3. I’m busting my ass on public access while some joker in a glass church is getting Super Bowl numbers
2. Why don’t Scully and Mulder "do it" already and get it over with
1. Dick Van Dyke