WASHINGTON – Congress today ratified the 28th amendment to the United States Constitution, which formally defined marriage in the United States as “a union of a man and a woman, or two hot women.”
Conservatives are hailing this move a great victory for the preservation of traditional marriage values. Said Senator Rick Santorum (R-Pennsylvania), “The attempts of gays to subvert the definition of marriage is nothing less than an outright attack on one of our most precious institutions. If two men to to be able to marry, it would undermine one of civilizations most fundamental truths. Two women, however, would be pretty hot.”
Added Santorum, “I mean, can you imagine two fine blonde chicks with big racks goin’ at it on their wedding night, with both of them wearing the shreds of their bridal gowns? How fucking hot would that be?”