“I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.”

via the always hilarious 27bslash6, this funny email exchange with an anti-gay bigot: -“I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.”.

I wish I were as clever as they are. Oh, 27B/6, It’s been along time since I visited. You have clearly become more funny while I was gone.

Continue Reading“I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.”

Overheard in New York

I’ve mentioned the site “Overheard in New York” recently because I added it to my regular site reads not long ago… but it definitely deserves to get mentioned again. It is regular postings of conversations that people overhear, and it it so zen. When I’m stressed out, I go to my feed reader and page through the posts on this site, and it is so relaxing. You can’t imagine how funny and truly strange people can be until you read this site regularly.

Unfortunately, the site itself has a pretty crummy and unreadable design. But really, read this post, entitled “Wednesday One-liners Rx.” I almost spit out my beer. But I didn’t of course, because beer is a precious substance, you know.

And then there’s this:

Guy #1: My iPod called me a homo this morning.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I had it on shuffle and it played a nonstop string of Rent, Oklahoma, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer and, best of all, Annie: The Musical.
Guy #2: Wow, you said, “Best of all, Annie.” That’s amazingly gay.
–34th between 7th & 8th

Really, who has Annie on their iPod?

And then there’s the post about King Kong, the documentary.

Continue ReadingOverheard in New York

eBay: Unfortunate Leather Pants

Check out this eBay entry from a guy selling leather pants; it’s hilarious:

You are bidding on a mistake.

We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of the wrong people.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.

Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.

I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

  • I am not a member of Queen.
  • I do not like motorcycles.
  • I am not Rod Stewart.
  • I am not French.
  • I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.

Again, they’re men’s pants, but they’d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It’s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.

They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown – perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate – I shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.

These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.

Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.

Please buy these leather pants.

There is more to the entry, including a Q & A session worth reading for the humor.

And if you really want to get into the eBay spirit, here’s a bunch of stuff I’m selling on eBay for my mom. You’ve always wanted a beer stein, haven’t you? Come on, you know you do.

Stuff we don't own anymore
Continue ReadingeBay: Unfortunate Leather Pants

Homestarrunner: A primer

I’ve mentioned this a few times on my site, but I just found out someone I know needs a basic introduction to homestarrunner.com, so here it is. Try not to blow soda out of your nose from laughing too hard.

Strong Bad

Essential viewing:
Welcome to Homestarrunner.com (Check me out. No, seriously, check me out.)
a Jorb Well Done
Meet Marshie I hate that freaking marshmellow.
Lookin’ at a thing in a bag. (My favorite StrongBad cartoon ever.)
Strong Bad answers viewer mail.
The Cheat video
Draw a Dragon I said consumate V’s! Consumate!
Trogdor, the Burninator – Game
Japanese Cartoon

Continue ReadingHomestarrunner: A primer