Bush Inaugural Theme Song

Author unknown

(to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke) What they are humming in the Governor’s mansion. Okay shrubs, all together now…

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much foreign policy
Don’t remember how I got through school
I’m sure I didn’t break the rules
But what’s it matter ’cause my granny says
"Boy, if you want to you can be the prez
And what a wonderful world this will be"

Don’t know much about the women’s vote
Don’t know much about the bill I wrote
Don’t know much about the foreign vets
I’ve never voted for ’em yet
But I do know if your dad tries hard
He can get you in the National Guard
And what a wonderful place that can be

Now I never claimed to be an A student
But what’s wrong with C’s?
And maybe by knowing the names of my cabinet
I can win their love for me

Don’t know much about air pollution
Don’t know much about the constitution
Don’t know much about th’economy
It never much affected me

But there’s one thing that I know for sure
If the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor
What a wonderful world this will be

Don’t know much about the national debt
I’ve never had to pay one yet
If we need to we can sell the States
To the Japanese at discount rates
But I do know if things get bad
Dick and I can always call my dad
And what a wonderful world this will be.

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Two new verbs

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Two new verbs:
To Harris: To steal something, not for oneself, but on behalf of someone else in order to curry favor.
To Scalia: To use unethical means to run down the clock on one’s opponent.

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Texas Dems Get Bushwacked

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I KNEW there was something fishy about all that thunderous applause before Bush’s acceptance speech. Turns out there weren’t any Democrats allowed in the room. Texas Dems Get Bushwacked.

President-elect George W. Bush delivered his long-awaited acceptance speech Wednesday night to thunderous applause from the Democrat-controlled Texas House of Representatives, highlighting Bush’s boasts of having reached across the aisle to work with Democrats. Or so it appeared.

But the shiny bipartisan veneer Bush hopes will follow him into the Oval Office lost some of its luster Thursday, when many Democratic representatives said they weren’t invited to the speech, and at least one even after having requested an invitation.

“We weren’t asked to come,” says state Rep. Garnet Coleman.

Calling the Bush team’s failure to invite Democrats “phony” and “hypocritical,” Democratic state Rep. Kevin Bailey, D-Houston, said that “it was kind of surprising that we weren’t invited.”

They were all applauding because they were all Republicans. But mark my words– celebrating was a big mistake. There was nothing for you to celebrate, Bush. Over half the people in this country didn’t want you, and grinning like an idiot only makes them more mad. “Pull together behind the president,” my ass. I don’t care what Al Gore says, George W. Bush is not my president, and I know I’m not the only one to think so.

I’m with all those people who are organizing on the internet to protest Bush’s Inauguration in January. I may not get to go, but I’ll spend the day in conspicuous mourning. And I almost have my “Impeach G.W. Bush” bumper stickers done.

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Justice Stevens dissenting

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JUSTICE STEVENS, with whom JUSTICE GINSBURG AND JUSTICE BREYER join, dissenting.

What must underlie petitioners’ entire federal assault on the Florida election procedures is an unstated lack of confidence in the impartiality and capacity of the state judges who would make the critical decisions if the vote count were to proceed. Otherwise, their position is wholly without merit. The endorsement of that position by the majority of this Court can only lend credence to the most cynical appraisal of the work of judges throughout the land. It is confidence in the men and women who admin-ister the judicial system that is the true backbone of the rule of law. Time will one day heal the wound to that confidence that will be inflicted by today’s decision. One thing, however, is certain. Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year’s Presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the Nation’s confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law. I respectfully dissent.

In case it isn’t clear what Supreme Court Justice Stephens is saying, let me explain it:
He’s saying that the Supreme Court, knowing full well that it had no jurisdiction in the election at all, nevertheless stepped into the process and took it over just long enough for the clock to run out for Al Gore, and then threw the process back to the Florida Supreme Court once the time ran out.
In other words, he’s saying that the Supreme Court stole the election for George W. Bush.

Continue ReadingJustice Stevens dissenting

Al Gore IS the President

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Al Gore IS the President of the United States. And he will be for the next four years. I don’t care what anyone says. You can cheat and defraud all you want to, but you can’t change my mind on this one. I refuse to hear anything else on the subject.
I hopped in my car on the way to work this morning, pulled out into traffic, and flipped on the windshield wipers because it started to rain. Stuck under the wiper on my side of the car was a round piece of… something. It completely obstructed my view, and flipping off the wipers didn’t help because it was raining too hard. I almost rammed the car ahead of me, but managed to turn of into the Church’s Chicken parking lot, where I hopped out and pull the round disc from under my wiper. It was a round plastic-covered hallmark card, about 2 inches in diameter… a wreath with the message “Jesus is the Reason for the Season.”
I’m thinking there are better ways of making this sort of point.

Continue ReadingAl Gore IS the President

The Third Debate

Author Unknown

For those who did not watch the presidential debate, here was what was said:

Jim Lehrer: Welcome to the third presidential debate between Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver rehearsed remarks designed to appeal to undecided women voters. The opponent will then have one minute to respond by trying to frighten senior citizens into voting for him. When a speaker’s time has expired, I will whimper softly while he continues to spew incomprehensible statistics for three more minutes.

Let’s start with the vice president. Mr. Gore, can you give us the name of a downtrodden citizen and then tell us his or her story in a way that strains the bounds of common sense?

Gore: As I was saying to Tipper last night after we tenderly made love the way we have so often during the 30 years of our rock-solid marriage, the downtrodden have a clear choice in this election. My opponent wants to cut taxes for the richest 1 percent of Americans. I, on the other hand, want to put the richest 1 percent in an ironclad lockbox so they can’t hurt old people like Roberta Frampinhamper, who is here tonight.

Mrs. Frampinhamper has been selling her internal organs, one by one, to pay for gas so that she can travel to these debates and personify problems for me. Also, her poodle has arthritis.

Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal.

Bush: Governors is on the front lines every day, hugging people, crying with them, relieving suffering anywhere a photo opportunity exists. I want to empower those crying people to make their own decisions, unlike my opponent, whose mother is not Barbara Bush.

Lehrer: Let’s turn to foreign affairs. Gov. Bush, if Slobodan Milosevic were to launch a bid to return to power in Yugoslavia, would you be able to pronounce his name?

Bush: The current administration had eight years to deal with that guy and didn’t get it done. If I’m elected, the first thing I would do about that guy is have Dick Cheney confer with our allies. And then Dick would present me several options for dealing with that guy. And then Dick would tell me which one to choose. You know, as governor of Texas, I have to make tough foreign policy decisions every day about how we’re going to deal with New Mexico.

Lehrer: Mr. Gore, your rebuttal.

Gore: Foreign policy is something I’ve always been keenly interested in. I served my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle who was a victim of poison gas in World War I. I myself lost a leg in the Franco-Prussian War. And when that war was over, I came home and tenderly made love to Tipper in a way that any undecided woman voter would find romantic. If I’m entrusted with the office of president, I pledge to deal knowledgeably with any threat, foreign or domestic, by putting it in an ironclad lockbox. Because the American people deserve a president who can comfort them with simple metaphors.

Lehrer: Vice President Gore, how would you reform the Social Security system?

Gore: It’s a vital issue, Jim. That’s why Joe Lieberman and I have proposed changing the laws of mathematics to allow us to give $50,000 to every senior citizen without having it cost the federal treasury a single penny until the year 2250. In addition, my budget commits $60 trillion over the next 10 years to guarantee that all senior citizens can have drugs delivered free to their homes every Monday by a federal employee who will also help them with the child-proof cap.

Lehrer: Gov. Bush?

Bush: That’s fuzzy math. I know, because as governor of Texas, I have to do math every day. I have to add up the numbers and decide whether I’m going to fill potholes out on Rt. 36 east of Abilene or commit funds to reroof the sheep barn at the Texas state fairgrounds.

Lehrer: It’s time for closing statements.

Gore: I’m my own man. I may not be the most exciting politician, but I will fight for the working families of America, in addition to turning the White House into a lusty pit of marital love for Tipper and me.

Bush: It’s time to put aside the partisanship of the past by electing no one but Republicans.

Lehrer: Good night.

Continue ReadingThe Third Debate

The American Response to England’s Revocation of Of Independence

Author Unknown

To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we’re amused by your quaint belief that you’re actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!

However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.

Continue ReadingThe American Response to England’s Revocation of Of Independence

England’s Notice Of Revocation Of Independence

by Alan Baxter, Peter Rieden and others

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

Continue ReadingEngland’s Notice Of Revocation Of Independence

Gay/Straight Marriages and the Georges tragedy

This is in regards to Ruth Holladay’s recent column on the Georges murder tragedy. (excerpted below)

I think we as a community, and Ruth Holladay, need to separate our issues here, because we’re talking about several different issues as though they’re a single issue.

  1. We’re talking about people, regardless of their orientation, being honest with their partners (and themselves) about health-related issues.
  2. We’re also talking about people being monogamous within their relationships.
  3. We’re also talking about people being honest about their sexual orientation.
  4. And finally we’re talking about people finding ways to live together with other people’s orientations.

How any given person (gay or straight) in any kind of relationship (same sex or opposite sex) chooses to handle each of these four issues individually will determine the success of their relationship.

I can show you PLENTY of gay/straight marriages where there’s no dishonesty whatsoever — AND vice versa, lesbians married happily to straight men!
And there are PLENTY of relationships of all kinds where people are not honest — that’s the issue, really, not gay/straight but honesty/dishonesty.
And as far as the Georges go, we DON’T KNOW how they chose to handle each of these individual issues. It may very well be the case that:

  1. Lloyd Georges was completely honest with his wife about health concerns; his own and hers.
  2. Lloyd and Judy may have had an agreement that non-monogamy was okay as long as there was honesty about health, emotional, and safety concerns. Or Lloyde may have been completely monogamous — we don’t know that he ever had a sexual encounter with a man.
  3. Lloyd may have been totally out to Judy, and to their family and friends as well.
  4. Lloyd and Judy may have been happy with their arrangements.

****And this tragedy could still have occurred even if each of the above four assumptions were true. ****

The tragedy was a ROBBERY gone wrong, and nothing more. It was sad and unfortunate, but it had NOTHING to do with the fact that he was gay and she was straight. Lloyd could have met and befriended some shady characters at a gas station, rather than the Unicorn club. People, gay and straight, trust the wrong people every day.

We CANNOT sit around and make generalizations about all gay/straight relationships and marriages, any more than we can about gay/gay relationships or straight/straight ones.

There is no reason that we can or should assume that gay men married to straight women are always dishonest about their health issues, about their orientations, about their emotional and safety concerns.

We can, and should, strive to be honest and concerned about our own health and emotional well-being, and the health and emotional well-being of the people around us.

I think Ruth Holladay’s article was homophobic, even if unintentionally. She suggested that Lloyd Georges was dishonest with his wife because he was gay, that gay people live unsavory and dangerous lives, and that this alleged dishonesty was the reason they both were killed.

None of these things are true.

Ruth Holladay, May 25, 2000, Indianapolis Star:

It was not Lloyd Georges’ homosexuality that caused his death, said the veteran cop. It was his indulgence for guys with criminal histories, his fondness for men with mean streaks.

So the retired 60-year-old educator is dead, a victim of bad choices and worse company. But so is Georges’ 58-year-old wife, Judith, who had taught third grade and collected dolls and was, by all accounts, a quiet woman who left their Greenwood home on weekends so her husband could take part in “Saturday night fever.” That phrase refers to the personal ad Georges placed in an alternative newspaper; it was his invitation to party.

This is a tough one to make sense of, by anybody’s belief system. It’s even tougher in the context of conservative Midwestern family values. But it happened. It happens.

Specifically, what happened is this: The Greenwood couple, wed 32 years, were stabbed to death last Friday in their home, then their bodies were set on fire. In a community that averages one murder every six years, it was shocking. In a community where normal is the norm, it was a bombshell.

Police Chief Robert Dine liked Mrs. Georges. He’s a past president of the PTO at Isom Elementary School, where she taught for 35 years. “She was a dedicated teacher,” he says.

So he made a promise to the couple’s son to find the killer, and on Monday, he might have delivered: Detectives arrested Fernando Griffith, 22, also known as Valentino. That’s his stage name at the Unicorn, a private Indianapolis club where he worked as a stripper. The retired teacher and his friend had known each other about a year, Dine says. Sometimes, Dine says, both Mr. and Mrs. Georges invited Griffith to their home for dinner. But the relationship soured last week, police say, when Georges refused to play sugar daddy.

So much for the allegations. Now, for an effort at insight.

In the past, gay men often married: Peter Tchaikovsky, Oscar Wilde, Charles Laughton and Cole Porter come to mind.

But that was then, when just being gay was a crime. Given that the only exit from the closet was jail, it’s understandable that gays hid.

While we haven’t created utopia yet — don’t hold your breath, and keep in mind that everybody’s utopia is different — we have changed. Gay men and women can live together openly.

Despite this, old patterns and fears continue, says Amity Pierce Buxton of El Cerrito, Calif., a 71-year-old founder of the Straight Spouse Network. Buxton speaks from experience: Seventeen years ago, her husband of 23 years told her he was gay.

Now, she uses her pain to help others heal. She understands the double-edged stigma, both from the perspective of gay partner and straight spouse. She understands that gays still marry — less so today, but it happens. And it doesn’t take a degree in gay studies to realize that a teacher, like Georges, would be fearful of exposure, especially during his career.

But the bigger the lie, the harder the fall. When the truth finally comes out, as it always does, everybody gets hurt — especially the straight spouse.

As stated, it’s tough to make sense out of this. But if one message should come through, it’s this: Intolerance exists — look at Matthew Shepard, who paid with his life. Still, if you are gay or bisexual and married to a straight person, be honest. If you are absolutely petrified by that, keep your vows: Don’t have sex outside marriage.

And if you are a straight person who suspects she is married to a gay, you need to know that your choice could carry a cost.

Get out. Life is too short.

Continue ReadingGay/Straight Marriages and the Georges tragedy

A Family By Choice

By Kathleen Schuckel

Reprinted from The Indianapolis Star

INDIANAPOLIS (Sun. Jan. 9, 2000) — Butch Kimmerling adopted his 8-year-old foster child to keep her from becoming a gay man’s daughter. Kimmerling, 52, is now accused of molesting the little girl, and has admitted it.

Even as Kimmerling prepares to go to court soon on 10 felony counts of child molestation, a state lawmaker prepares to introduce legislation to stop gay people from adopting.

State Rep. Woody Burton, R-Greenwood, said he was appalled at Kimmerling’s admissions to molesting the little girl. "That guy ought to be put in jail," he said.

Still, Burton says, that doesn’t mean Kimmerling’s protest against gay adoption was wrong.

Spurred by Kimmerling’s protests over gay adoption, Burton sponsored a bill last year in the General Assembly that would have banned gays or single people from adopting. It didn’t pass, but he plans to re-introduce legislation in 2001.

FAMILY TIME: Craig Peterson and his three sons — (from left) Andrew, Michael and Brandon — share a laugh while reading a storybook before bedtime. Peterson, 39 and a gay man, has overcame many obstacles to adopt three special-needs boys. )

Away from the maelstrom, in a quiet house in Indianapolis, a gay man raises the little girl’s three brothers, ages 4, 5 and 6. They are his sons, now. Even as Craig Peterson tries to shield his boys from the swirling controversies, the intersecting threads still touch them.

Peterson is fighting for the right for his sons to visit their older sister. In fact, he would still like to adopt her or arrange visits between her and her brothers.

"These boys … would love to have a relationship with their sister, and they’ve never been given that opportunity. We talk about her, and we pray for her."

The Kimmerling’s adoption of the boys’ sister was approved — in December, 1998 — even before Peterson’s adoption of his sons was approved. That approval came in September 1999.

"Here, I’m jumping through hoops, and they’re taking hoops down for these people," Peterson said.

Even after the Kimmerlings "won" adoption of the little girl, they continued to fight for a ban against gay adoption.

In a letter to the editor of The Indianapolis Star, published Oct. 13, 1998, Kimmerling and his wife wrote: "Girls need mothers so they can learn what it is to be a woman; they need fathers so they know how to interact with the opposite sex."

Kimmerling later admitted molesting the little girl numerous times before and after that letter was written — "many times since April or May 1998, and the last time on the morning of May 10, 1999," court documents note Kimmerling said.

Two veteran public servants in Madison County — Detective Dale Koons and Judge Fredrick Spencer — weren’t surprised by the molestation charges against Kimmerling.

"Those with the deepest secrets protest the most," Spencer said. He said he knew of numerous instances of child molesters, before they were found out "…said that all molesters should be taken out and shot for their crimes."

Kimmerling’s attorney, John Erickson, said his client has fully cooperated with officials, has had no contact with his daughter and has sought treatment.

Madison County Prosecutor Rodney Cummings said he plans to try the Kimmerling case himself, rather than hand it to a deputy prosecutor.

Cummings, who himself grew up in foster care in Anderson, moving from home to home and experiencing abuse in some homes, said he takes special interest in this case.

"I want to do it, and I want to make sure it gets done the way I want it done," he said.

Cummings said last month that he didn’t anticipate a plea agreement. Refusing to talk about this case specifically, Cummings said that he saw prison as "the only option" for most child molesters.

Of the 10 counts pending against Kimmerling, two are A felonies, the other eight, C felonies. On each A felony charge, Kimmerling could get 20 to 50 years in prison, and two to eight years imprisonment for each C felony.

The Indiana Legislature won’t be alone in debating the issue of gay adoption.

Controversies surrouding the issue have erupted nationally. Last year, Texas attempted to ban gay adoption, but it failed in the legislature.

However, an aide to Gov. George W. Bush said the presidential hopeful would have signed a law banning gays from adopting.

And just last year, New Hampshire lifted its ban on gay adoption. Previously, foster children weren’t even allowed to spend the night in a home where a homosexual was visiting.

THERAPY: Michael, Andrew and Brandon watch a half-hour of a Disney video before bedtime with their heads in their hands to help strenghten their neck muscles, which are weak from the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. Peterson believes this will result in improving the boys’ attention spans.

While Utah and Arkansas make gay adoptions nearly impossible, Florida is the only state that has an outright ban on gays and lesbians adopting. The law stemmed from Anita Bryant’s 1977 crusade to overturn a gay rights ordinance in Dade County.

Indiana’s Burton is clear in his opposition to gay people becoming adoptive parents.

"I think children need the influence of both a mother and father," said Burton, who said he also plans to introduce other adoption reform bills. "(Children) need two different people with different biological makeups.

"It takes a man and woman to make a child. It takes a man and woman to raise a child."

Burton said children adopted by gays and lesbians are hurt unnecessarily when forced to experience the stigmas and mistreatment gay and lesbian parents receive in society.

Others disagree.

"There is not one credible study out there to demonstrate that children of gay and lesbian parents suffer at the hands of their peers any more than any other kids," said Sean Lemieux, the director of the Project for Equal Rights for the Indiana Civil Liberties Union.

"Does that mean we take kids away from overweight parents because they get teased on that basis?"

Steve Kirsh, an Indianapolis lawyer who mostly handles infant adoptions, occasionally works with gay and lesbian couples.

One birth mother purposely chose a gay couple to be her baby’s parents because the child was biracial, Kirsh said. The woman reasoned that the couple had themselves faced prejudice and would be better equipped to raise a child facing prejudice.

In Kirsh’s practice, gay couples have adopted African-American babies, biracial babies or those with disabilities.

He doesn’t think any ban on gay adoption is necessary.

"Given the fact that there are so few gay adoptions taking place and also that gay couples are adopting hard-to-place children, I would think the legislature has more important things to worry about."

Peterson’s sons all have special needs. Because of their birth mother’s use of alcohol during pregnancy, they suffer effects of fetal alcohol syndrome.

Ron Carpenter knows about children, like Peterson’s sons, who are hard to place. He heads the Children’s Bureau of Indianapolis, which has a contract with the state to help find homes for nearly 2,000 Hoosier children needing homes.

"Special-needs kids take some very special or unique kinds of families," Carpenter said. "Though it would be great to have the ‘normal’ or ‘traditional’ family unit stepping forward, it just doesn’t happen."

There are some critics of gay adoption who insinuate that gays are more prone to molest children.

In 17 years on the bench, there is one type of person Judge Spencer in Madison County says he has not seen facing molestation charges: homosexuals.

"I have never seen a known gay person who has been accused of sexually molesting a child," he said.

Burton says he thinks more married couples would adopt, if the state had less red tape and better laws to assist them. That will be part of the legislation he plans to introduce next year.

Judith Myers-Walls, an associate professor of family studies at Purdue University, questioned Burton’s premise that a traditional mother and father are always the best for children.

"We put adoptive parents through a lot more rigor than we do biological parents," she said.

As a result, some studies show that gay and lesbian parents tend to be better quality parents.

"They’re working very hard at parenting. They’re much more conscious of what they do and are careful with decisions because they worry of how they are perceived by others," Myers-Walls said.

Furthermore, kids adopted by gays don’t "become" gay, she said.

Studies show that gay and lesbian parents are slightly less likely to have children who identify themselves as gay or lesbian than heterosexual parents, Myers-Walls said.

Peterson said doesn’t spend much time researching the issues.

Instead, he’s focused most on being a father; providing for his sons’ most immediate needs: good educations and a nurturing home that helps them to grow up kind and successful people.

The father finds sad irony in the fact that Kimmerling, who later admitted being a child molester, fought so hard to prevent him from adopting.

"How could that man say horrible things about me when he’d been doing this to the girl?"

Continue ReadingA Family By Choice