More L-Word Recaps

Scribe Grrrl has more recaps of the L-Word on afterellen.com, thus causing more of the embarrassing laughing out loud at work… this time, this line was the culprit:
“Usually when women have sex on film, it’s all kind of abstract and shadowy and you can’t figure out what’s going on and nobody really seems to be trying to touch anyone. If The L Word does nothing else for us, it will at least reveal to the world that sometimes, when they have sex, lesbians use their hands.”
Also:
“Alice introduces her: ‘This is Marina. She owns The Planet.’ Yes, I do believe she does!”
“How many lesbians can you fit into a Mini Cooper? Four, apparently, and they don’t look a bit rumpled.”

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Weekend Update 2004-01-26

I finished sanding the edges of the floor in the living room, and did the full-scale cleanup of sawdust required. I hoped that I’d have enough time to start staining the floors, but that was overly ambitious. The edger sander was really hard to control — I was exhausted when I finished Saturday, and today I have stiff sore muscles all over my body. But the floor looks great. I’m hoping to put a coat of stain on the floor tonight. If I can come up with a strategy for keeping the cats out of the room while it’s drying.

Other than that, I didn’t do much. I’ve been trying to read the Ramayana, but I haven’t got very far. It’s not boring, but it’s very complex with lots of characters, places, geography that all sound somewhat alike, so you have to pay attention or you get lost easily. It’s a book that requires an uninterrupted Saturday, not one that you can pick up for an hour or two and put down again. And lately the only free time I’ve had to read is an hour or two at a time snatched from here and there around the other things I’ve been doing. It’s frustrating, because I miss being able to sit down and get completely mesmerized by a book.

I caught an interesting show on BBC America called “Life Laundry.” It’s a home improvement type show similar to HGTV’s “Clean Sweep” where they tackle helping people with severe clutter problems get organized. What’s better about the BBC show is that they take everything out of the house and put it on the lawn. Then the homeowners go through every scrap of paper, every object, and try to justify why they need to take it back in the house. Everything discarded goes in the “car boot” (garage) sale, or gets donated to charity. Or if it’s just trash, it goes into a giant green mechanical bin called “The Crusher” that smashes everything to bits. Which is fun. I wish I had one.

The interesting part of the show is watching the homeowners going through their stuff — because in almost every episode they nearly have a nervous breakdown at the idea of parting with their things. And the host holds their hand and counsels them on why the object has such importance to them. In most cases, whatever caused the breakdown was an object that had some attachment to an emotional event in their lives; like one woman who had never gotten over her divorce 7 years before. When she finally let go of stuff from her marriage — boy did she have a ball throwing stuff out.

Then when they take back the items that they really need back into the house, the show redoes their interior to make the rooms organized and beautiful. I like this show a lot. It made me mentally go through all my stuff and ask myself why I keep some of the things I do.

Continue ReadingWeekend Update 2004-01-26

New Favorite Quote

Again from the Television Without Pity recap of Carnivale, this time from the season finale:

“Libby crosses the carnival to find Sofie hanging out by a tent, and they both kick off their date by lighting cigarettes. Flick…ahh. Then they stare deep into each other’s eyes and kiss. I think it’s kind of sad that I’m watching this on TV, and it’s still the best date I’ve ever been on.”

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“Mary Sue” in Online Fan Fiction

MARY SUE (n.):

1. A variety of story, first identified in the fan fiction community, but quickly recognized as occurring elsewhere, in which normal story values are grossly subordinated to inadequately transformed personal wish-fulfillment fantasies, often involving heroic or romantic interactions with the cast of characters of some popular entertainment.

2. A distinctive type of character appearing in these stories who represents an idealized version of the author.

3. A cluster of tendencies and characteristics commonly found in Mary Sue-type stories.

4. A body of literary theory, originally generated by the fanfic community, which has since spread to other fields (f.i., professional SF publishing) because it’s so darn useful. The act of committing Mary Sue-ism is sometimes referred to as “self-insertion.”

Sounds dirty.

Making Light’s lengthy article on the concept of “The Mary Sue” is well worth reading.

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Now I’ve read my Foucault like the best of them…

Tom Coates wins my heart as he shares his feelings about “The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” phenomenon.
Notable Quotes: “Bollocks to happy gay people on TV, bollocks to the straight audiences, bollocks to the producers, bollocks to the bloody cameramen, bollocks to any passing trannies. Bollocks, if you will, to absolutely bloody everyone. I’m going to say this once and once only – and I hope it doesn’t come as too much of a shock to anyone: It’s not just Straight Eye for the Queer guy that will be patronising shit that sells an image of gayness that is damaging and frustratingly bland.”

Continue ReadingNow I’ve read my Foucault like the best of them…

Ripped From the Headlines: ER Plotline follows my Appendectomy story

If you watched ER last night, you may have noticed that the writers (who must have been reading my weblog!) completely ripped off my appendix surgery story on their show last night. Unfortunately, they changed just enough details to avoid having to pay me royalties. Here are their mistakes:
1) In Real Life, I’m not a middle-aged black guy.
2) I never ate any hospital food on my first trip to the ER, because I was doubled-over and completely nauseous. On the show, the guy with appendicitis scarfed down a tray of hospital food, which by the way, since when do they feed people in the ER? In Real Life, if you had shown me any food, especially hospital food, I would have puked on you, except that I couldn’t because I had puked up everything the day before.
3) When I initially went into the ER, my symptoms were much clearer and my pain was evident. The mis-diagnosis happened because the doctor thought my pain was the result of gallstones, even though my gall bladder is under my ribcage, and the pain was by my hipbone, where the appendix is located. I tried to point out to her that she was ultra-sounding the wrong place, but she didn’t listen. And they had totally doped me up on morphine, so I was inclined to be passive, rather than the insistent pain in the ass that I normally am. On the show, however, the guy’s symptoms were ambiguous, which is why they decided to send him home without a CT scan.
4) My appendix ruptured at home, rather than in the ER waiting room. On the show, the guy comes back and his appendix ruptures in the waiting room, and he pukes on the doctors shoes, which I didn’t do, but I sure wish I had, because, poetic justice. In Real Life, my appendix ruptured at home while I was waiting to get another ultrasound for my mythical gall stones.
5) On the show, the guy didn’t almost die, because he was in the ER waiting room, rather than at home because of mythical gall stones.
6) I didn’t go into surgery right away, because they were afraid that would be worse, so I sat in the hospital for a week until I was no longer septic, then several weeks later I had laser surgery.
Moral of the story: A) Television shows are total rip-off artists. B) A lot more people read my weblog than you think. C) If you want me to stop being an insistent pain-in-the-ass, morphine will really work.

Continue ReadingRipped From the Headlines: ER Plotline follows my Appendectomy story

Joan of Arcadia

The good folks at teevee.org do a much better job of reviewing the new TV show Joan of Arcadia than I was doing while trying to explain the show to my mom over the weekend. I like this show, and the best explanation I could come up with about why is that “She talks to God, and it’s a religious show without being cheesy.”
Their take:

In Joan’s world, God is working all around us, but on His terms. We don’t get to see any miracles. Human beings are the conduits for the causes that lead to effects. Bad things still happen to good people, and we don’t understand why. Yes, there is a strain of Samaritanism in Joan, and a whole lot of self-actualization. But the end result is something that’s also spiritual, serious, and searching. The characters of Joan of Arcadia are muddling through with their lives, trying to figure out what’s right and what’s wrong, trying to be good people. And in Joan’s case, trying to literally do what God says she should do. She gets it from the horse’s mouth, and it’s still not as easy as it sounds.

But do read the whole review; it’s quite good.

Continue ReadingJoan of Arcadia