Monkeys In the News: Monkey Jail

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The Chicago Tribune ran a fantastic article about a state pen in Punjab, India. The inmates are lifetime offenders, mostly nabbed for stealing, assault, and vandalism. Even the murderers are safe from capital punishment though. That’s because in India, it’s forbidden to kill monkeys.

The thief threatened children with bricks and ripped the buttons off shirts. He stole tomatoes from one home and snatched bread from another. Down the street, he briefly fled with a differential equations book and beat a calculator with his fist. He was one bad monkey. And last week he was sentenced to life in prison for his crimes, inmate No. 13 at the country’s only known monkey jail, where very bad monkeys are sent to live out their remaining years.

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Jimmy Swaggart, you’re a wuss

Jimmy Swaggart thinks he’s some sort of bad ass, threatening to kill a gay man: “In the broadcast, Swaggart was discussing his opposition to gay marriage when he said, “I’ve never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I’m going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I’m going to kill him and tell God he died.”

  • First: No gay may would ever look at Jimmy Swaggart romantically– have you seen him? Fugly Fugly fugly.
  • Second: Before Jimmy got a chance to kill a gay man, I’d kill Jimmy first.
  • Third: I wouldn’t have to kill Jimmy first, because in a fight between Jimmy Swaggart and any gay man, the gay man would obliterate Jimmy.
  • Fourth: I really want to kick Jimmy’s ass just on general principle.
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F The CC Lyrics

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from Steve Earle’s new album “The Revolution Starts Now” I just bought this song this morning, and it kicks ass. I can’t wait to blast this out the open windows of my truck, along with the Green Day song I posted about below.
I used to listen to the radio
And I don’t guess they’re listenin’ to me no more
They talk too much but that’s okay
I don’t understand a single word they say
Piss and moan about the immigrants
But don’t say nothin’ about the president
A democracy don’t work that way
I can say anything I wanna say
So fuck the FCC
Fuck the FBI
Fuck the CIA
Livin’ in the motherfuckin’ USA
People tell me that I’m paranoid
And I admit I’m gettin’ pretty nervous, boy
It just gets tougher everyday
To sit around and watch it while it slips away
Been called a traitor and a patriot
Call me anything you want to but
Just don’t forget your history
Dirty Lenny died so we could all be free

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Excerpt from Michael Moore

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A great letter from Michael Moore is here, and here are some excerpts:

My friends, it is time for a reality check.
1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead — and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling “likely voters.” “Likely” means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.
2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.
3. Traveling around the country, as I’ve been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers — everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).
4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on “9/11” (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that “job,” you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain’t the one who sent those kids to their deaths — and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the “service” he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be “won.” All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.

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Dan Rather vs George Bush on the facts

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credit goes to Outlet Radio
Dan Rather, CBS News Anchor
1) given documents he thought were true
2) failed to thoroughly investigate the facts
3) reported documents to the American people as true to make his case
4) when confronted with the facts, apologized and launched an investigation
5) number of Americans dead: 0
6) Fox News thinks he should be fired as CBS News Anchor
George W. Bush, President of the United States
1) given documents he thought were true
2) failed to thoroughly investigate the facts
3) reported documents to the American people as true to make his case
4) when confronted with the facts, continued to report untruth and stonewalled an investigation
5) number of Americans dead: 1100
6) Fox News thinks should be given four more years as President of the United States

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American Idiot Lyrics

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Lyrics to the new Green Day song that’s at the top of the charts right now. From their new Album “American Idiot

Don’t wanna be an American idiot.
Don’t want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind-fuck America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn’t meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue.
Well maybe I’m the faggot America.
I’m not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn’t meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue.
Don’t wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information Age of hysteria.
It’s going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn’t meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue.

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