Additional Living Will Pointers
The Onion provides a few Living Will pointers I hadn’t thought of, but will now factor into my surgery preparation plans. Among them:
Leave at least one reasonably flattering photo for the press. This point cannot be emphasized enough.
Explain in no uncertain terms that, should you die and return as a zombie, loved ones must shoot you in the head without hesitation.
Research medical life-support technology and specify whether you’d prefer to be hooked up to a Danninger Continuous Passive Motion device, an Emerson suction unit, or a Slushee machine.
Comatose people have been shown to exhibit a brainstem-level response to music, so prepare a decade’s worth of mix tapes in advance.
One thing I’m actually doing is the last one… I’m putting together a post-recovery playlist of soothing music to listen to in the hospital on my iPod, after reading that soothing music can help relieve pain.