A nice cake is waiting for you: recent fortune cookies

A nice cake is waiting for you.
I’m being stalked by a cake. That’s just scary.

Your winsome smile will be your sure protection.
Um, can I have a ball bat instead? I’d feel more secure.

You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty.
Oops, I got someone else’s fortune.

A modest man never talks to himself.
What about singing in the shower? Does he do that?

There will be a happy romance for you shortly.
This one really ticked off my girlfriend

You will step on the soil of many countries.
I’d better get started soon, because we’ve all seen my “Where I’ve been” map.

Express yourself, do something creative.
Gosh, I’ll get right on that after I finish designing this website.

You will always have good luck in personals affairs.
Oh, silly fortune cookie. You are so wrong.

You will always be surrounded by true friends.
Okay, you’re not always wrong, fortune cookie.

And upward movement intiated in time can counteract fate.
Damn, this is the second time I got this ominous cookie, and the first was right before I found out about my heart surgery. Leave me alone, cookie! You’re scaring me.

To be a success in business, be daring, be first, be different.
I think I’ll start with “Be awake” and see how that goes.

Many people who have power become a deaf mute.
And then there are the power people who never shut up.

Good fortune awaits you at the end of the day.
Is it a free monkey? I like monkeys.

From your garden of dreams, many things will blossom.
Hopefully not weeds.

The next full moon will bring an enchanting evening.
With a werewolf!!

You are kind-hearted, cheerful, and well-liked.
I wish I knew which day opposite day is in Fortune CookieLand.

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