You Might Be a College Student If…

You have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.

You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

You consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.

You have ever written a check for 45 cents.

You have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.

You have ever seen two consectutive sunrises without sleeping.

Your glass set is composed of McDonald’s Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups.

Your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.

You cannot remember when you last washed your car.

You can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).

You have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light.

The first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce yourself.

You average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.

Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t

You go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week

You eat at the cafeteria because it’s"free", even though it sucks

You are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy

You wake up 10 minutes before class

You wear the same jeans 13 days in a row –without washing them

Your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class

Your social life consists of a date with the library

Your idea of "doing your hair" is putting on a baseball cap

It takes a shovel to find the floor of your room

You carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that’s all you have

You haven’t done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class

Your midnight snack is microwave popcorn

You celebrate when you find a quarter

Your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over

Your walls are plastered with posters of half naked men or women

You have built up a tolerence for certain beverages (he he he)

You wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself

Your backpack is giving you Scoliosis

You get more sleep in class than in your room

Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles

You can sleep through your roommate’s blaring stereo

You live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes

You get more e-mail than mail……

Continue ReadingYou Might Be a College Student If…

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You watch videos in fast-forward.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.

You don’t sweat, you percolate.

You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table.

The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.

Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house.

You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.

Your life’s goal is to "amount to a hill of beans."

Instant coffee takes too long.

You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

You name your cats Cream and Sugar.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Continue ReadingYou Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When