Republicanism Shown To Be Genetic In Origin

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The discovery that affiliation with the Republican Party is genetically determined was announced by scientists in the current issue of the journal NURTURE, causing uproar among traditionalists who believe it is a chosen lifestyle. Reports of the gene coding for political conservatism, discovered after a decades-long study of quintuplets in Orange County, CA, has sent shock waves through the medical, political, and golfing communities.

Psychologists and psychoanalysts have long believed that Republicans’ unnatural disregard for the poor and frequently unconstitutional tendencies resulted from dysfunctional family dynamics — a remarkably high percentage of Republicans do have authoritarian domineering fathers and emotionally distant mothers who didn’t teach them how to be kind and gentle. Biologists have long suspected that conservatism is inherited.

“After all,” said one author of the NURTURE article, “It’s quite common for a Republican to have a brother or sister who is a Republican.”

The finding has been greeted with relief by Parents and Friends of Republicans (PFREP), who sometimes blame themselves for the political views of otherwise lovable children, family, and unindicted co-conspirators.

One mother, a longtime Democrat, wept and clapped her hands in ecstasy on hearing of the findings. “I just knew it was genetic,” she said, seated with her two sons, both avowed Republicans. “My boys would never freely choose that lifestyle!” When asked what the Republican lifestyle was, she said, “You can just tell watching their conventions in Houston and San Diego on TV: the flaming xenophobia, flamboyant demagogy, disdain for anyone not rich, you know.”

Both sons had suspected their Republicanism from an early age but did not confirm it until they were in college, when they became convinced it wasn’t just a phase they were going through. The NURTURE article offered no response to the suggestion that the high incidence of Republicanism among siblings could result from their sharing not only genes but also psychological and emotional attitude as products of the same parents and family dynamics.

A remaining mystery is why many Democrats admit to having voted Republican at least once — or often dream or fantasize about doing so. Polls show that three out of five adult Democrats have had a Republican experience, although most outgrow teenage experimentation with Republicanism.

Some Republicans hail the findings as a step toward eliminating conservophobia. They argue that since Republicans didn’t “choose” their lifestyle any more than someone “chooses” to have a ski-jump nose, they shouldn’t be denied civil rights which othe minorities enjoy.

If conservatism is not the result of stinginess or orneriness (typical stereotypes attributed to Republicans) but is something Republicans can’t help, there’s no reason why society shouldn’t tolerate Republicans in the military or even high elected office — provided they don’t flaunt their political beliefs.

For many Americans, the discovery opens a window on a different future. In a few years, gene therapy might eradicate Republicanism altogether.

But should they be allowed to marry?

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Police arrest Journalist Amy Goodman at the Republican National Convention

Police arrest journalist Amy Goodman at the Republican National Convention. She was there to find out what had become of two of her producers, who had been reported arrested as they were covering the protests occuring outside. She had the credentials identifying her as a reporter and had come from the floor of the convention, where she was covering events.

She’s a well-known and respected journalist and had legitimate press credentials; her arrest is pretty surprising. Other coverage of the vent discussed on Salon and also the Washington Post.

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Ben Stein is fucking batshit crazy

Former Nixon speechwriter and Ferris Bueller actor Ben Stein weighs in on the Foley scandal in the American Spectator, illustrating that he’s not only homophobic as hell, but off his damned rocker.

We have a Republican man in Congress who sent e-mails to teenage boys asking them what they were wearing, and an entire party, the Democrats, whose primary constituency, besides the teachers’ unions, is homosexual men and lesbian women. I hope it won’t come as a surprise to anyone that a big part of male homosexual behavior is interest in young boys. (Take a look at anyone renting Endless Summer next time you are at the video store.)
Don’t get me wrong. My very best friend is gay. I have many gay friends and they are great people. But how the Democrats, the party of gays, can be coming down this hard on a MC who’s gay is simply beyond belief. One of my top, favorite congressmen, Barney Frank, is openly gay. Might he say a word in defense of his fellow gay MC right about now? Hmm, I thought not.

On what fucking planet is that the case? I know hundreds of gay men. None of them are interested in young boys. I’ve been to their houses, seen their movie collections (including the porn), paged through their magazines. No young boys anywhere in them. And no Endless Summer movie, either. I had to look that movie up to even see what it was, and I don’t see anything gay or pedophile-related about it.
I hope your “very best friend” is kicking your anti-gay ass right now, Stein, because I don’t want to have to.

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The Myth of Big Government Liberals

Atrios has a dead-on post about the myth of “Big Goverment Liberals.”

I don’t know any “big government liberals” in the sense that Andy means. I don’t know anybody who gets a stiffy at the thought of raising taxes and increasing government spending as a share of GDP just for the hell of it. Liberals I know tend to think there are things government should do and we should, roughly, figure out how to pay for those things, though we’re not entirely allergic to deficit spending. When taxes have to go up to cover interest and debt repayment costs no liberals I know are going to go “YAY! HIGHER TAXES! WOO HOOO!”
For a long time the Left was tarred as idealistic utopians, addicted to ways of doing things no matter what the consequences. I have no real opinion on whether that criticism was ever true, but in any case it’s something which has been embraced wholesale by the Right. They have a small government fetish, and that fetish is linked almost entirely to the top marginal federal income tax rate. Liberals have no such corresponding fetish for “big government” even if they tend to be fans of some government programs conservatives like to demonize as being “big government liberalism.” No one’s going to enjoy sweeping up after Bush’s fiscal train wreck.

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2008 GOP Convention in Indianapolis?

The [link deprecated: http://www2.indystar.com/articles/1/243304-2091-127.html] Indy Star reports that our fair metropolis is on the list of cities invited to bid to host the 2008 GOP Convention. Requirements: we have to foot the bill for security.

God no. Please no. I’d rather gargle with motor oil than pay for security for wingnuts. Oh, wait. Can I pay for really crappy security?

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More Abu Graib Photos

For quite some time, the Bush Administration has been withholding the worst of the photos of torture and prisoner abuse at Abu Graib prison, citing concerns about sparking more terrorism if they release the photos. The courts have ordered the remaining photos released by the White House keeps stalling.
I think they’re more worried about American public opinion, actually, especially since many of these photos have actually been seen already outside the United States by Arab countries. And of course it all begs the question — why torture people in the first place if you think it will incite them enemy.
Now sixty of the 150 odd photos have been leaked to the public. You can see the story on the photos on this Australian news site, and a slide show of some of them by the same outfit.
A warning before you watch — if you thought the previously release photos were scary and upsetting — these are far worse.

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