one-liners

One-Liners About Books

A Room without books is a body without soul – Cicero

A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone – Jo Godwin

Any Book worth banning is a Book worth reading

Are you sure it isn’t time for a colorful metaphor?

Censor: n. Someone who thinks they know more then you should

Don’t destroy the world in the first chapter. You’ll need it later.

Fight Prime Time — Read a Book

For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision

Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men, and I will find an excuse in them to hang him. – Cardinal Richelieu

I love being a writer. It’s the paperwork I can’t stand

Help! We are lost, crazed and starving and without any good books as well.

I am a bookaholic. If you are a decent person, you will not sell me another book

I write, therefore it is.

I’m word haunted – Virginia Woolf

Life? Of course I have a life. It’s a life filled with books

Migratory life form with a tropism for bookstores

Real writers don’t need to have their words processed

So many books, so little money

So many books, so little time

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested – Sir Francis Bacon

Some people say life is the thing but I prefer reading.

The worst thing about censorship is

They got the library at Alexandria — they’re not getting mine

Where is human nature so weak as in a bookstore?

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The Wedding

Author Unknown

It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man.

They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won’t try to run her life, and he won’t try to run his, either.

He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding, he plans to quit his job.

All marriages are happy. It’s living together afterwards that is difficult.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

After the wedding ceremony was over, a little girl asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."

They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But, he finally decided to let her go.

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You’re the boss."

If it weren’t for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

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Ode To The Malty Brew

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
–Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
–Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
–Humphrey Bogart

People who drink light "beer" don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
–Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
–Winston Churchill

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
–W.C. Fields

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
–Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
–Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
–by Jack Handy

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
–Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
–Ernest Hemingway

They who drink beer will think beer.
–Washington Irving

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
–Tee Mans

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
–Dean Martin

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
— Michelle Mastrolacasa

Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine.
–David Moulton

I drink to make other people interesting.
–George Jean Nathan

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
— Brian O’Rourke

He was a wise man who invented beer.
–Plato

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