You Know You’re In America When…
A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
People order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.
Banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
People use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
People sell hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
People use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures."