SciFi / Fantasy / SCA / D&D Jokes

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology

Beyond the Final Frontier lies Bab 5

Could be a Hologram

Could be a figment of your imagination

Could be a mutation

Cross my hearts and hope to regenerate

Do you know where your towel is?

Dragon fodder

ELF: The Other White Meat

Free Mars Now!

He’s dim, Jed

How much is that in Federation Credits?

I am very interested in the future because I plan to spend the rest of my life there.

I don’t remember volunteering for this "Ring" business

I have no use for adventures — they’re nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things and
make you late for dinner

If there is anything in the universe more important than my ego, I want it taken
out and shot immediately.

I’ll have some of what that gentlebeing on the floor is drinking

It’s not my damn planet, Monkey Boy

Live wrong and preposterously

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup

My parents went to Sol 3 and all I got was this stupid human

Not all who wander are lost

Of course I’m in a bad mood — someone just dropped a house on my sister

Old Gallifreyan riddle — which came first the future or the past?

On my planet we laugh occasionally

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Reality corrupts. Absolute reality corrupts absolutely

Reality is just one option

Reality is the opiate of the people

Save the universe — collect all five

So much for the old code against killing

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination

Spending a year dead for tax purposes

There is a very fine line between reality and fantasy — and I’d just as soon obscure

Time paradoxes will have given me a headache

Anachronists do it knightly

Anfractous: n. Full of twists and turns. Torturous. See Game’

Any excuse to wear a sword is a good excuse

Are we all being disintegrated, or is it just me?

Arrant Fool


Bards are beautiful

Berserkers do it without thinking

Better Living through Alchemy

Buggeth Off



Chivalry is alive and well in the SCA

Concealed broadsword

Crossbows don’t kill people. Quarrels kill people


Even barbarians like chocolate chip cookies

Follow me to the current Middle Ages

Gamers make better lovers — They know how to handle themselves in the dark

Have you hugged your Wench today?

Have you oppressed your peasants today?

Heralds do it with their companions

I like the Knight life

I thought YOU silenced the guard!

If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap

Imperious Rex

Knight Errant

Lady of the Knight

Live by the sword — Die by the crossbow

Maiden in Distress

Maybe if we attack, it will get confused, and make a mistake

Merde Occureth

Never, EVER, throw a fireball in a closed room.

Never trust a smiling game master

No Quarter

No, seriously, how much damage did I take?


Oh Regrettable Knight!


Peace through superior swordplay

Practice save government — use kingdoms

Retired Barbarian


SCA – medieval re-creation and recreation


Shameless Hussy

So many monsters, so little time


SSDA — same s***, different age

Surely you Joust?


Take a journey through time, join the SCA

The Game Master is Not God. God is one of my little NPC’s.

The King is a fink

Those spurs are, I must say, a provocative addition to your wardrobe.


Umm… Can I UN-cast that Fireball? I think it made him mad

Unprincipled Rake

Uppity Wench

What guard?

Waste a Knight with me

You bash the Balrog, I’ll climb a tree

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