Archives: December 2002

Xmas Update

So. Xmas was very fun. There was a lot stuff going on around my house, but not much that’s interesting, except stuff about my girlfriend, which there’s no way I’m gonna talk about here. So, hey, I got nothin’ to write about. Hope everyone had a happy holiday. I’m doing New Year’s at Dan and

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Free State Project

Now, the concept behind the “Free State Project” is interesting. What they want to do is get a whole bunch of people who have roughly the same libertarian sort of political beliefs and have them all move to one state, where they would have enough voting power to run the state the way they wanted.

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Booker Prize Winners

The Booker Prize, judged in England, is awarded to the best novel written in English by a citizen of the UK, the Commonwealth, Eire, Pakistan, or South Africa, and has been awarded since 1969.

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Betty Berzon

I’ve always been a big fan of Betty Berzon and have several of her books. She writes a regular column for Planet Out, too, which I read whenever I can. Here she has a great column helping gay people deal with their relatives over the holidays. My favorite line: The second thing is to understand

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Christmas Sampler

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

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Dear Santa from Billy Gates

How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business.

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English Xmas Kitties

Stacy Mineart Today was yet another day in that inevitable annual melee we call christmas preparation. The rarity of Sunday opening hours in England necesitates that on such occasions every able-bodied individual must pile onto the high street to take advantage of the extra shopping opportunity whether they need anything or not. Thus, when I

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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: Internet Version

Author Unknown ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the net, not a modem was chirping; (It wasn’t mail-hour yet). The peripherals down and backed up with care, In hopes that St. Echo soon would be there. The grad students home all snug in their beds, with hi-res dreams abuzz in their heads. We Sysops

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Microsoft Acquires Christmas

MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via sattelite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.

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The Net Before Christmas

by Jim Trudeau & Jay Trudeau (1991) ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nets Not a mousie was stirring, not even the pets. The floppies were stacked by the modem with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The files were nestled all snug in a folder The screen

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Things Not to Say When Hanging the Lights

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? One Psychiatrist claims the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. He is rarely wrong on these things. We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.

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Company Christmas Party Memo

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

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‘Twas The Night Before Techmas

‘Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.

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The Next Stop

A little boy was playing in the living room with his new Electric Train set that he’d just gotten for Christmas. His mother was in the kitchen doing dishes.

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You Might Be A Scrooge If…

If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors’ string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn characters with eggnog – you just might be a Scrooge

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A Martha Stewart Christmas

The following are entries submitted in the Washington Post’s "Style Invitational," a weekly humor contest. This time, folks were asked to submit entries for Martha Stewart’s December-January calendar (the winning entry, by the way, is shown for Jan. 31.)

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Dear Santa, about Martha…

If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn’t cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?

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The 10 Worst Gifts A Man Can Buy A Woman For The Holidays

Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your girlfriend).

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The Three Wise Firefighters

In a small southern town there was a nativity scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. However, one small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

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Beer Fairy

Holy crap — it’s the beer fairy, a Japanese cartoon character. That’s almost even cuter than my dog. Not quite, but close. Beer fairy. heh heh. funny. Now how the hell do I buy this stuff? Dammit, the Japanese sites are so hard to use. I guess you can only buy this stuff in stores

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The 50 Most Loathsome People in America 2002

This is one of the funniest pieces of social/political writing I’ve read in a long time, and something I wish I was smart enough to have written myself. My favorite so far: SEAN HANNITY Aesthetic: Repressed kid from Long Island who got to college, was scared of sex, discovered other repressed white kids in conservative

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Information about the Civil War Draft Riots

Information about the Civil War Draft Riots; the back story of the movie Gangs of New York: Salon Magazine’s Review of Gangs of New York A FIRSTHAND ACCOUNT OF THE DRAFT RIOTS New York City Draft Riots: A Result of Mounting Tensions New York City Draft Riots New York Draft Riots (July 11-13, 1863) N.Y.

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Seven Wonders of the Ancient World

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. This was one of my favorite encyclopedia entries as a kid. I was also fascinated by the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Easter Island, And the Rainbow Bridge National Monument.

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Just Horsing Around

My friend Rich just sent this link to a funny flash video to me… “Just Horsing Around.” Click on the horses to get them to sing. It’s best when you start with the horse on the far left first, then the second horse from the right. Once you get them going, throw in the horse

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Weekend Update 2002-12-17

The weekend was fun — Kathy took me on a date to the Morris-Butler House for the Victorian Xmas Celebration — it was cool. The have people in period clothes singing Christmas carols, and you see what dinner would have been like, and then they do a reading of “Twas the Night Before Xmas.” You

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Film and American Studies

Interesting… Ray Carney, film critic, has this very interesting website about Film and American Studies. I know very little about the classics of cinema and the art of filmmaking, and want to learn more.

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Paper Airplanes

Okay, we just had a paper airplane flying contest at work… from the third floor balcony down into the lobby, with the object to hit the center pole on the revolving doors, a distance of about 60 feet. AND I WON. Me! I won! All the guys were busy aerodynamically designing their planes and test

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Puppy dog lunch

I went home at lunch to play with Spike. He’s so cute. He’s the cutest doggie ever. I miss Idgie, still, but I can’t get over how big a dog person I’ve turned into.

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Photo Bombing

If only I could get away with putting one of these in my yard…. And, have you ever been taking a photo and had a stranger jump in the shot? Now you can post photos of those losers and maybe find out who they are.

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He Said, She Said

I read this article by Keith Olberman in Salon Magazine, and I had a quite a bit to say about it. So I wrote the following letter back to him, through Salon’s “Letter’s to the Editor”.

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Furnace Issues

Well, the furnace wasn’t as big a problem as I was worried it might be. It was fairly cheap and I learned a hell of a lot about my furnace that wasn’t in any of my “do it yourself” manuals. The problem was a sensor that needs to be cleaned once a year — I

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Car Troubles

My transmission is out on my car. Again, within 18 months of me having it rebuilt. And, sometime last night, my furnace stopped blowing hot air and is now blowing cold air. So I have a service call into the heating and cooling guys to check it out. I’ll be completely out of money, and

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Chihuahua Puppies?

Men steal puppies, thinking they’re pit bull puppies. Really, they’re chihuahua puppies. Come on now… that’s really stupid.

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Car Troubles

My cars is in the shop, so I’m driving a rental. I’m deeply stressed about that, so I’m not going to go into detail. I spent the weekend taking care of that, doing some Xmas shopping, getting out the Xmas decor, and putting lights on the tree. I got to spend a lot of time

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Crazy Cat owners

This is… well… interesting. Homeowner kept his 170 cats out of family’s view. Hmmmm. I’ve never heard of a “crazy cat guy” before. Usually it’s a “crazy cat lady.”

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Put a Target Downtown!!

Do me a huge favor — e-mail Target and tell them to put a Target store at 16th and Central in Downtown Indianapolis. I’ll tell you exactly how to do it: Go to this page of the website, and click on the link “For questions about our stores, products�and services, click here.” You’ll see a

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Songs That Cheer Me Up

01 – I Believe I Can Fly (Radio Edit) – R. Kelly – Club Mix ’98 (Disc 2) – 4:39 02 – Wonder – Natalie Merchant – Tigerlily – 4:27 03 – O-O-H Child – The 5 Stairsteps – Chicken Soup For The Soul -Triumph Of The Spirit – 3:16 04 – Everything is Beautful

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Books To Buy

Books to add to my “to buy” list: “The Cave” by Jos� Saramago “The History of the Siege of Lisbon” by Jos� Saramago “All Is Vanity” by Christina Schwarz “The Virgin in the Garden” by A.S. Byatt “Still Life” by A.S. Byatt “A Whistling Woman” by A.S. Byatt

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Fun Sites

I will definitely be ordering some clothes from this website in the future. I love clothes that are sturdy and confortable. And this has to be the worst name any woman’s ever had. Also, Jesus apparently has at least five residences in the U.S., including one in California and one in Florida. He must like

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Dream a little dream

Stars shining bright above you, Night breezes seem to whisper, “I love you”; Birds singin’ in the sycamore tree; Dream a little dream of me… Say “nighty-night” and kiss me, Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me; While I’m alone and blue as can be, Dream a little dream of me… Stars

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Winona Ryder

Check out what the prosecutors want Winona Ryder’s shoplifting punishment to be. Highlights — the girl had a lot of drugs on her at the time of her arrest, all with perscriptions, but from different doctors, and some of them under a fake name “Emily Thompson.” Also she has to complete 60 days of community

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Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was really great. I went to Iowa with my brother Todd and his wife Denise and stayed at my Grandparents house. Saw the aunts, uncles, cousins, ate way too much food, went shopping and generally had a good time. I missed Spike the whole time, though. He stayed at Dan and Doug’s house. I

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