Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done!
Read on »Archives: February 1997
Bart’s Chalkboard
The opening credits of “The Simpsons” shows Bart Simpson writing on the school chalk board the same sentence over and over again, (the ole "write it 100 times" punishment). Each episode however the sentence is different. Someone (not me, thank you) went to the trouble to tape the shows, watch and copy down many of the sentences that Bart writes on the chalkboard.
Read on »What Your Car Says About You
Acura Integra — I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Read on »The Beer Bill of Rights
Congress shall make no law disrespecting an establishment of beer, or prohibiting the free consumption thereof; or abridging the freedom of bar service, or of brewing; or the right of the people peacably to assemble, and to petition the bartender for a round of beers.
Read on »Ode To The Malty Brew
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
Read on »New Government Warnings on Alcohol
As most Americans are familiar with, the federal government mandates health warings on Alcoholic products to warn people about the potential negative effects. This is also an increasing occurence in other countries as well. It has come to my attention that a few additional warning may be appropriate.
Read on »Things Adults Learn from Kids
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite A 4 years-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
Read on »The Boss
Quote from a recent meeting: We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done.
Read on »Differences Between You and Your Boss
When you take a long time on a project, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time on a project, she/he’s thorough.
Read on »25 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work
It’s an incentive to show up.
Read on »Top 10 Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
They told me at the blood bank this might happen!
Read on »Vonnegut? Schmich? Who Can tell In Cyberspace?
Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune
Read on »Teddy’s Teacher
by Elizabeth Silance Ballard
Read on »That Summer
Pat Alger, Sandy Mahl, Garth Brooks
CD: The Chase
Darwin Awards 1997
The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they have a chance to breed.
Read on »Honest – That’s The Way It Happened…
Author Unknown A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.
Read on »Gone Fishin’
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They … for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.
Read on »Where Ya Goin’?’
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.
Read on »Life After Death
Author Unknown Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their dying. As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word,
Read on »Careful When Playing Golf
Author Unknown Two lesbians were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. One of them finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but
Read on »Mom’s Home Cooking
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Read on »Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected drama processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
Read on »5 Reasons Tinky Winky Can’t Be Gay
The Purse doesn’t match the shoes. Purple AND Red, I mean really, clash-o-rama.
Read on »The Dream Where Prince Died
In this dream, I found out that Prince had just died, and I was terribly upset, because I felt that we would be lost without his music. We (Me and who else? I don’t know) decided to go to his funeral. While there, I ran into someone who was explaining how he died; this gets
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