You are the master of your fate

You are the master of your fate
Now doesn’t this defeat the *purpose* of a fortune cookie? Isn’t the point so I can be a sloth and just let my fate be assigned?
You will be advanced socially, without any special effort.
See, that’s more like it. Fortune cookies that allow me to be lazy are the kind I can get behind.
Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned
But I though I was that master of my fate. Now I’m just confused.
Soon you will be sitting on top of the world
Sing it with me! “I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find….”
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others
And I will say “you coveteth my luck, but you cannot have it. I’ve had this luck since I was a child.”
the first step to better times is to imagine them
I’ve been daydreaming all day; it’s not helping at all
you are the center of everyone’s attention
You’re damned right I am. And it’s about time, too.
get your mind set… Confidence will lead you on
Damn it, there’s not really anything smart ass you can say about that
Discontent is the first step in progress of a man or a nation
Rock the boat! Rock the boat! Rock….
There is a true and sincere friendship between you both
both of the people in my head?
Answer just what your heart prompts you
Now even I know that’s not a good idea.
Good news will be brought to you by mail
from Amazon.com, probably
it is very possible that you will achieve greatness in your lifetime
*Very possible???* Damn, that’s not very precise. Couldn’t I get a “probable”?
you are broad-minded and socially active
Heh heh. You said “broad-minded.” Heh.
The best prophet of the future is the past
Too bad Hitler didn’t get this one when he was invading Russia.
the dim haze of enchantment will add mystery to your life
Well, it’s certainly the dim haze of *something*.
Good things are being said about you
In Bed! I have to add it on this one!
You will inherit a large sum of money
I’m looking at my family and thinking “from who?” and making notes to be nice to strangers.
Accept the next proposition you hear
In Bed! Must add it to this one, too.
A financial investment will yield returns beyond your wildest dreams
Because I bought the little red plastic hotels instead of green houses for Park Place.
You will have many friends when you need them
and they will go away when they start to get in your hair.
You are next in line for a promotion in your firm
Ack, I’m standing in the wrong line. I thought this was the one to get coffee.
All your hard work will soon pay off
As soon as you start doing some, Steph.
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune
As my friends say, I *do* get all the good fortune cookies.
Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure
Well, yes, that’s true.
You have a strong desire for a home and your family comes first
Snort.

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