Why Twitter?

To make bitter people write bad humor articles, of course.

My friend Dan was googling his twitter ID (funny!) and discovered he’d been quoted in a “humor” article about Twitter on Funny Times, which he of course shared with his twitter pals, because – even more funny. Too bad that the article was yet another frivolous critique of Twitter. Allow me to add my two cents interspersed with this guy’s “jokes.” (Hey, it’s my site; I’ll say what I want.)

Why Twitter? Because I’m Here
by Ray Lesser
A new communications service named Twitter now makes it possible to blurt out the first thing that pops in your head and broadcast it instantly to all your friends and followers, wherever they may be, via Internet, IM, and text message. Twitter invites its several hundred thousand members to answer the question, “What are you doing?” in 140 characters or less, and they do – millions of times a day. Each message is called a “tweet.”

When I checked Twitter’s website, dan1657 had “just got in to work, forgot my phone charging at home.” Less than five seconds later, omaregan was “Just chilling!” Another user tweeted, “Working on stuff and things.”

Is anyone really interested in this omnipresent bombardment of barely conscious stream of consciousness?

Yes. In fact, dan1657 is a friend of mine, and I do in fact care that he left his phone at home on the charger. Because that means I can’t text or call him. See, the point of twitter is to tell stuff to your friends. Not necessarily to the whole planet. If the planet chooses to listen in, that’s the planet’s problem. Maybe the planet should get a job or something. Like maybe, writing something that’s actually funny for a humor site. At this point, making fun of twitter is like the ubiquitous “your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device” joke for lame stand-up comics who make a practice of missing the point entirely. (Tip: none of those comedians get a TV show where they’re married to a hot skinny wife. And neither will you with your tired twitter critiques.)

Really, why Twitter? And why blog? Why podcast? Why text? Why instant message?

BECAUSE I’M HERE!

Sorry, no. The answer is actually – because people I know want to know what I’m doing, and sometimes people I don’t know want to know, too. Not funny, maybe, but at least true.

[Snipping out boring paragraphs]
If you put a million Tweetie birds together in a cage, an occasional tweet is bound to be interesting. Some of the Top 10 Twitters recently:

o Memoir of the Day: “I start things, but I never” – D. Stahl
o At Ritual Coffee, the hand-crafted sign by the register now reads, “Please, no blogging in line.”
o “Internet, I’m in labor. Do something.”

Shorter: “Sometimes, people I don’t know are actually funny when I eavesdrop on their conversations. I’m also good at overhearing things on the bus.”

But, even the most dedicated technophile can’t be omnipresent all the time, informing the world about their latest tooth-flossing or tuna sandwich lunch. That’s why MyCyberTwin was created. This new web-based software allows you to set up your own Virtual Clone. By answering a comprehensive series of questions about your views on subjects such as sex, politics and religion, you program your CyberTwin with as much of your personality and background information as you like, enabling it to act as a virtual public-relations agent when you’re not available. Once you’ve created a CyberTwin chatterbot, you can place it on your website or blog to converse with anyone who happens by. Is it you or is it CyberTwin? Only your webmaster knows for sure.

[Snipping out more boring paragraphs]

First – Eric! Tuna sandwich call out!

Second – What a great idea. Because being an unreachable, distance ass will keep a lot of friends for you. How clever! I can see why this guy wrote a bunch of boring paragraphs on this. His “cybertwin” probably wrote this whole article for him whilst he was pooping.

Evan Williams, the founder of Obvious, feels that Twitter is also primarily interesting as a way to communicate to small groups of friends. “It has the potential to be a really substantial part of how people keep in touch with each other.” I guess getting a tweet from a friend who’s “shopping for soy milk. Blue box or red …” might feel more substantial than going online to ask their CyberTwin what they like to eat for breakfast.

Well really, it depends if they’re bringing home the soy milk to your house. Ray’s mistake throughout is failing to realize that often tweets have a context he’s not privy to, because he’s essentially eavesdropping. But I’ve already ranted about critiques of being wired while shopping, so I’ll let this one go.

Staying constantly, instantly available can lead to its own perils. Eric Meyer, a 37-year-old Cleveland web consultant, had to rethink who to allow in his “friends” circle after experiencing a Twit-storm of 30-40 messages a day from one friend pondering what to have for dinner and commercials spotted on TV. “Who doesn’t have a friend like that, who shows up at a party and just won’t stop talking?”

Um, can you spot the unintentional irony in the above paragraph, or do you really need me to point it out to you?

When I consider this techno-groping towards a stream of consciousness connection among friends, I can’t help but think about James Joyce’s Ulysses, the first great stream of consciousness novel. Anyone who’s ever read it cannot forget Molly Bloom’s soliloquy and her description of Leopold Bloom’s proposal, “and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

Although the entire novel takes place during one day, it took Joyce seven years to write Ulysses. Perhaps the first thing that pops into your head isn’t necessarily the thing that you want to broadcast to the world. As someone tweeted, “Noticing that Twitter gives one the illusion of writing without the actual burden of writing. All fluff – no stuff!” Even if you don’t have seven years, maybe it’s worth taking more than seven seconds to think about what you want to say.

1) Like I believe he actually read Ulysses. Everyone quotes that Molly quote, which is a pretty good indication that they haven’t read it. I believe that’s even the quote on wikipedia, if I’m not mistaken. (Update: Yep, I’m right.)

2) Yes, because Joyce never had a conversation with his friends, or wrote letters to people, he just sat around all day, pondering the meaning of life and writing and re-writing weighty tomes with his deep, deep thoughts. I’ll bet Joyce would’ve twittered given the chance. Or at least blogged.

3) And again with the unintentional irony – this is hardly a Joycean article Ray’s writing here. In the dim recesses of my mind, I think at one time I made ironic fun of a different poorly-written article that compared modern communication unfavorably to Joyce. But I’m too lazy to search for that post.

4) And can I point out – Ulysses is finished. We don’t all have to turn in our own chapter of it, or anything. Not everyone aspires to be James Joyce, or should; if everyone sat around 7 years writing classic literature, wow, we’d be boring ass people. And very, very poor.

Or maybe, 200,000 years after having learned how to speak, and 5,000 years after learning to write, mankind has reached a new stage in the evolution of communication, which will bring us a new truth. And, as Steven Colbert recently tweeted, “How many roads must a man walk down before he is run over by an eighteen-wheeler of truth?”

Lesson 1: Stephen Colbert is not always funny, or relevant to the topic at hand.

Lesson 2: Sometimes it’s not about truth. Sometimes it’s just about whether you left your phone at home on the charger.

5:45 p.m. Update: Oh, I’m not done. I thought of something else on the way home from work, so you’ll have to endure more of my spirited defense of trivial conversing. As I’ve mentioned before here on my blog – one of the excellent things about Twitter is that my sister Stacy , who lives in England, is one of my twitter friends. So it’s wonderful to hear the narration of her day, and to share mine with her, because she’s so far away. Sure, we could write emails to one another, or letters, but those things never capture the small delights and sorrows of everyday life, like the time that she had to stop one of her (developmentally disabled) clients from eating tree bark. Or the day she had to have her dog Ollie put to sleep. And then there was that day one of her clients grabbed her breast and she accidentally shouted about it into the building’s intercom system. (Stacy is, BTW, is one of the funniest people alive. Perhaps the Funny Times should consider firing Ray Lesser and hiring her.)

And then there’s my friend Dan1657 – who’s already been mentioned here. He’s been my friend for over 20 years, and is one of those warm and funny people you can’t help but love and want to be around always. Despite the fact that I’ve known him for so long and he lives 5 blocks away, I’ve learned a myriad little things about him on twitter that I otherwise never would have known at all; things that make me laugh out loud (his twittering while drunk), as well as worry – like the fact that he has trouble getting to sleep.

In the book “Pattern Recognition” there’s a repeated reference to a “Mirror World” effect that happens when you’re traveling – the strange awareness that the city you’re in is familiar, but different than your own; little things like the electrical outlets, and the way people lock up their bikes, or the ways window shades are constructed are all different than where you live, so you recognize their purpose, but marvel at their design.

Twitter does the same thing to my friends; I recognize the thousand ways my friend’s lives are just like mine, but slightly different – and I marvel at the detail.

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More Twitter Fun

Adding the Twitter RSS feeds of my friends and family members to my feed reader, so I can catch up with them later if I miss something.

I’m really excited that my sister Stacy is now on Twitter – just hearing little updates from England at about a 7 hour time shift is really entertaining, and especially just hearing the little things she does around the house. I know it’s minutiae to anyone else, but I like having a little window into her day, because I don’t get to call or write her enough, and sometimes a sentence or two is the most valuable thing.

My girlfriend Stephanie is on Twitter, too, so now I also know what’s going on in the kitchen when I’m in the library. Although twittering from your laptop just to hear the Twitterific tweeting from mine is a bit over the top, honey.

My friend Dan just got on twitter, too, which I is how I found out he just got a new laptop. That’s cool; even though he lives a couple blocks away, I haven’t talked to him nearly enough lately. Dan, you need to add Stephanie and Matt to your friends list.

My friend Matt has been on Twitter for a while, but he just started updating recently.

My friend Jonathan has been on for awhile, too – now that more of our friends are on, maybe he’ll post more regularly.

Twitter Bird
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Social Networking

All the social networks I’m on. The list was getting too long to keep it on a sidebar anymore, so it’s getting its own dedicated page.

Obligatory

My Flickr Photos

[Link deprecated – http://www.iconbuffet.com/] Me on Icon Buffet

[Link deprecated – http://www.facebook.com] Me on Facebook

[Link deprecated – http://www.myspace.com/] Me on MySpace

[Link deprecated – http://www.youtube.com/] Me on YouTube

[Link deprecated – http://twitter.com/] Me on Twitter

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Evite vs. Upcoming.Org

Last year in February, I was bothered by how unfortunate Friendster had become, and I mentioned somewhere in there that they (and other social networking sites) needed to suck in functionality like evite, where you can send out party invitations to friends and get RSVPs online, be able to see who is and isn’t coming to an event.

I tend to use evite for all my party invitations, and it’s big with my friends as well. I like the RSVP features of it, especially, and that it’s fairly easy to put together an invitation. I also like that it creates a map to your location, so you don’t have to send out directions to everyone.

In Austin for SXSW, lots of the parties and events were planned using upcoming.org, which is an events planning site that’s pretty slick and interesting. It has a clean, easy to use interface (which is better than evite – evite is a little clunky to maneuver, slow loading, and way too hallmarky). It’s most obvious focus is as spot for announcing big public events. There are a few listed for Indianapolis, but I don’t think it’s taken off here they way it has in bigger cities. Austin seems to be very plugged into upcoming.org, as are cities in California and New York. Once you’re logged in and profiled on Upcoming.org, it gives you a list of public events that are going on near your zip code, which is cool.

The big difference between evite and upcoming.org is that evite has social networking capabilities – you can add people you know as friends, look at the events they’re going to, etc. It’s not quite MySpace + Evite, but it’s somewhat that direction. Upcoming also has features that let you add events to your google calendar and ical, and their integration with maps is much better than evite. It also lets you tag events with key words, so that other people can search for them, which is dandy.

But you can also plan and send invitations to private, invite only events on upcoming.org, which I did this morning for my Colts Bonfire event.

It seemed pretty interesting, but I’m bothered that my only way of having contacts is if they’re also a part of upcoming.org. I can’t keep my address book there. The other thing that bugs me is that I can’t see a list of people I invited to the event; I can only see if people are planning to attend or are “watching” the event.

So I don’t know if upcoming is a replacement for evite, but it is interesting, and a bit more fun to use.

UPDATE: Upcoming.org has a suggestion box for new features, and I visited there to suggest the things I mentioned above, and found other people already had entered them, and I had the ability to give a “thumbs up” on their suggestion. COOL.

2019 UPDATE: I think Evite is still around, but upcoming seems to have fallen by the wayside. Facebook has taken over event planning to a large extent. And there is Eventbrite for scheduling things where tickets are required.

Continue ReadingEvite vs. Upcoming.Org

Twitter

Twitter is a strange little social network application that lets you give short bulletins of what you’re doing right now. You can update via text message or Instant Messenger, as well as online. You can link to your friends to see what they’re doing, and you can use the built in RSS feeds to keep up with everyone. That’s all it does. For some reason, it’s a hot new thing to do for several of the big name bloggers, though, who’ve written articles about it, so I was intrigued.

So here’s my profile. If you’re already on, let me know. If you get on, let me know. I just want to see what all the buzz is about.

Twitter Bird
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Friendster

I haven’t been in Friendster for a while, so I logged in a futzed around to see what they’ve upgraded lately. You know what’s stupid? Blogs on Friendster. That was really dumb addition, because the people who wanted a blog already had them set up outside of Friendster, where everyone can see them. No one wants to log into Friendster just to read a blog. What they should have done instead is set up more robust competition for Evite. That’s a feature that would actually made sense inside Friendster. You already have many of the people you want to invite to a gathering already connected. If you could create an invitation that would go to their e-mail and let you customize an invitation, like Evite does, they could have crushed evite. Kinda dumb.

I haven’t done the MySpace thing. I think I set up an account so I could read my friend Chi’s blog, but other than that, I have to much to do to keep track of social networks.

2019 update: I clearly was not predicting the rise of Facebook, was I? I had pieces of it – event planning, micro-blogging, social connection.

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Friendster Update

I had to delete Willy Wonka from my friends list, because he put 189,000 people in my personal network, and that was just too ridiculous to look through all the time. Now I’m just down to a manageable 989 real people who are actually friends or friends of friends, and who are people I might actually be able to meet.

Still, you are not on there. What’s up with that? My dog Spike is even on Friendster.

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Friendster Update

I now have 16,9903 people in my personal network. I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that Willy Wonka added me to his friends. Everyone is friends with Willy, because as Sammy says, he makes a groovy lemon pie.

2019 update: Ah, those halcyon days when social media was a toy we could play with and not a tool that would destroy democracy.

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