Posts Tagged: religion

Anti-gay churches have booths at Indianapolis Gay Pride event

2013-05-29 UPDATE: According to a facebook note from the Indy Pride Organizers, These two churches will no longer have booths at this year’s Pride celebration. Last year and for the past few years apparently, there have been two churches from Indianapolis — Castleview Baptist Church and A.C.T. For The Gospel — who have had booths

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Richard Dawkins

I went with our friend Mike down to Bloomington to visit our friend Joe and to see Richard Dawkins speak at the IU auditorium last night. He was there to read from and discuss his newest book The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution. I don’t have the book and haven’t read it,

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DJ Shiva’s Take on Obama and Warren

DJ Shiva wrote an excellent blog post on Obama’s decision to pick Rick Warren to do the inaugural invocation, which I’m just going to quote the whole thing of, since it’s awesome. But go read her blog regularly; it’s good. fuck you, obama. i was gonna write a long-winded piece about how hard gays and

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Real Biblical Marriage

Passed along from a friend via email If we were to create a constitutional amendment defining marriage based on the teachings of the Bible, it would look like this: A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5) B. Marriage

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Priorities

A man was walking up the street, when he passed by a Catholic Church. He noticed smoke pouring out of the building. He ran inside, and yelled to the Priest, “Father, Father!! Your Church is on Fire!” The Priest grabbed the New Testament, and ran out. A little farther up the road, the man passed

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Message of Welcome to the UU Church

As we welcome our new members and visitors, it is only fair to let them know what we Unitarian Universalists are like and what we expect. We are friendly. If you are not friendly, out you go! We are genuine people. Even our phonies are real phonies. We are always sincere, even if we have

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You may be a Unitarian Universalist if:

You think socks are too formal for a Summer service. You know at least 5 ways to say “Happy holidays!” Your idea of a guy’s night out is going to a N.O.W. rally. Unleavened bread is part of your Easter Brunch. You refer to construction paper as “paper of color.” The name of your church

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links for 2008-01-06

keybr.com – Be productive, type faster! Sure. Right. (tags: exercise tutorials fun productivity) Traverse City Record-Eagle – Religion & Marriage: Some churches take stand on gay unions They won’t marry anyone, gay or straight. (tags: lgbt equality marriage rights)

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Unitarians at Arlington National Cemetery

Stephanie had some interesting news from her family today – Years ago when her Opa was interred at Arlington National Cemetery, his headstone was configured with the flaming chalice – the Unitarian Universalist symbol. Later her Oma was buried next to him, and recently her cousin Chip went out to visit them, and the flaming

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Thoughts on the Jesus MCC Bilboard Campaign

Awhile back, I wrote about the second part of Jesus MCC’s anti-discrimination campaign here in Indianapolis, involving six provocative billboards. At the time, I said “I like it!” without putting a whole lot of thought into the matter. Soon after that, I caught sight of one of the billboards, at 38th and College. I have

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Catholic Archbishop Doesn’t Know Difference Between Sex and Rape

In commenting on Italy’s current proposed same-sex civil unions bill, Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco revealed that he doesn’t understand the difference between sex and rape: “Why say ‘no’ to forms of legally recognised co-habitation which create alternatives to the family? Why say ‘no’ to incest?” he said at a meeting of Church workers, according to a

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Why do straights hate gays?

By Larry Kramer March 20, 2007 DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE, Why do you hate gay people so much? Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country

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The Secret, Oprah, and the idea of “magical thinking”

Somewaterytart at Shakespeare’s Sister tackles the subject of the new DVD/Book “The Secret” that Oprah’s been touting. I’m inclined to agree with much of what she says. I first heard about the book from my mom, who works for Barnes and Noble, where the book is apparently flying off the shelves, so I resisted blurting

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Atrios discussing religion

Atrios on The Sincerity Privilege: Whether or not this applies specifically to Amanda I’m not really sure either, but I do agree that questioning the sincerity of peoples’ faith does anger them. On the other hand, appealing to the sincerity of their beliefs is a way of privileging them, to put them in the realm

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Melissa Resigns Too

Damn it, this sucks. Melissa’s McEwan’s statement: I regret to say that I have also resigned from the Edwards campaign. In spite of what was widely reported, I was not hired as a blogger, but a part-time technical advisor, which is the role I am vacating. I would like to make very clear that the

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Edwards Blogger Resigns

Although John Edwards decided against firing the two bloggers from his campaign that were under attack by notorious homophobe and anti-semite Bill Donohoe, one of them, Amanda Marcotte, has decided to resign anyway. Days after Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards decided against firing two liberal bloggers with a history of inflammatory writing, one resigned last

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Melissa gets to keep her job

I mentioned yesterday that there was some question about whether blogger Melissa McEwan, aka Shakespeare’s Sister at the site of the same name, would get to keep her job with the John Edwards campaign after complaints from the nutty rightwing blowhards over things she’s said in the past on her personal blog. Turns out that

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How Islam Rationalizes Prostitution

A bizarre sexual practice sanctioned by Islam that has re-emerged in Iraq because we invaded, according the the Washington Post: Temporary ‘Enjoyment Marriages’ In Vogue Again With Some Iraqis BAGHDAD — Fatima Ali was a 24-year-old divorcee with no high school diploma and no job. Shawket al-Rubae was a 34-year-old Shiite sheik with a pregnant

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The Catholic Church Has a New Policy on Gay People

This happened earlier in the week, but I haven’t had time to address it before now. If you know me, you know I grew up Catholic and have had somethings to say in the past about the Catholic Church and their behavior towards gay people. Catholic Bishops have officially approved new guidelines concerning ministry to

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Soulforce urges people to write compassionate letters to Haggard

Soulforce is urging gay people to write compassionate letters to Ted Haggard now that he’s being targeted for “spiritual restoration.” In response to the news that Rev. Ted Haggard has been dismissed by New Life Church and resigned as President of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE), Soulforce has urged the gay community to respond

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Spy Agencies Say Iraq War Worsens Terrorism Threat

From the New York Times: WASHINGTON, Sept. 23 — A stark assessment of terrorism trends by American intelligence agencies has found that the American invasion and occupation of Iraq has helped spawn a new generation of Islamic radicalism and that the overall terrorist threat has grown since the Sept. 11 attacks. The classified National Intelligence

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Rosie O’Donnell and Christian Terror Cells in the US

The American Family Association, Concerned Women for America, Faith and Action and World Net Daily are all busy bashing Rosie O’Donnell for saying “Radical Christians are no different than murderous radical Muslims.” God damn it. What she said is way tamer than what I said in the recent past with a big fat list of

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A joke from our friend Veronica

A man walked into the women’s department of Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.” What type of bra?” asked the clerk. Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a

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“I’m not a bigot”

Via the Consumerist, this incredibly funny quote: Now, I am NOT trying to bash homosexuals and I am not a bigot; however, I feel homosexuality is morally wrong and should not be “promoted” as what is the norm for society. Shorter: “I am not a basher or a bigot, however, I am a basher and

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Christian terrorist says Gays have sex with infants

A few days ago, Guy Adams, Deputy National Grassroots Director of RenewAmerica appeared on the right wing talk show of fundamentalist activist Stacey Harp, and during the interview, committed blood libel against gay Americans. Pam’s House Blend summarizes some of what was said: * Gays have sex with infants (He says its “The New trend”)

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Freedom From Religion

From Good As You: I mean just the other day this was chatting with this Jewish friend of mine who keeps kosher, and he was all like, ” Ya know, my religious beliefs tell me that consuming pork is not in my best interest, so I think I’m gonna take that belief to the public,

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Fundies Say the Darndest Things

New edition to my regular online reading (for as long as I can stand it): Fundies Say the Darndest Things A blog that watches Christian message boards, blogs and news groups and culls the most laughable, craziest things that fundamentalists say on the internet. What’s really scary is that these folks are ON THE INTERNET,

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Prize for killing gay people

Via Good As You: Just a month before the 2006 WorldPride Parade is scheduled to be held in Jerusalem (Aug. 6-12), protest flyers are reportedly being distributed to residents of the capital city offering a cash reward to “anyone who brings about the death of one of the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah.” I haven’t

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AFA Sues Michigan State To Block Same-Sex Benefits

Advance Indiana comments on a recently announce lawsuit from the American Family Association — suing to block same-sex couples from receiving university health care benefits on the basis of Michigan’s ban on same-sex marriages. I’m blogging this specifically for my mom and other family members — THIS IS THE REASON THESE BANS ARE SO DANGEROUS.

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Freedom From Religion – Jewish family flees Delaware school district’s aggressive Christianity

This news article about a Jewish family being harassed “Jewish family flees Delaware school district’s aggressive Christianity” is a great example of why our first amendment is supposed to guarantee not just freedom of religion, but also freedom from it. A large Delaware school district promoted Christianity so aggressively that a Jewish family felt it

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Christian Terrorist Cells in the USA

This week’s Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 249 has a nice roundup of recent domestic terrorist incidents perpetrated by Christian Terrorists within the United States. They gathered the list to contrast with the silly drum-banging that the Bush Administration did recently about the so-called Muslim terrorist cell from Miami — the guys who had no

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Recommended Reading

One of my very favorite sites is Good As You — it’s a website that keeps up with GLBT news and provides analysis and witty commentary on same. They keep track of what the religious right is saying about us and provide hilarious and logically directed commentary about why they’re wrong. Every day I find

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Political Compass 2006

From the OK Cupid site. (Note that I was not on the site for dating purposes.) You are a Social Liberal (88% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (26% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok CupidAlso: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test Here’s a previous political compass I

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A Priceless Quote

Regarding the same-sex marriage ban: “I don’t believe there’s any issue that’s more important than this one,” said Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican. Note where the guy is from — a state who’s citizens are still displaced all over the country, who had a major U.S. city destroyed last year.

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Video Game encouraging killing gay people

A description of the new “Left Behind” video game, based on the series of books, the game will be release in October 0f 2006, just in time for Christmas. The synopsis is from the “Talk to Action” website. The game has been previewed at video game exhibitions. Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a

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Gay People in Iraq sentenced to Death

From the Times Online UK: THE death threat was delivered to Karazan’s father early in the morning by a masked man wearing a police uniform. The scribbled note was brief. Karazan had to die because he was gay. In the new Baghdad, his sexuality warranted execution by the religious militias. The father was told that

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The Bible is Fiction

Ian McKellen, cast in the movie The DaVinci Code, had some choice words about the bible in recent interview: Matt Lauer: “There have been calls from some religious groups, they wanted a disclaimer at the beginning of this movie saying it is fiction because one of the themes in the book really knocks Christianity right

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Alabama needs better sex ed classes. Seriously.

The website goodasyou.com pointed out an anti-gay “sex-ed” (no actual education included) pamphlet distributed by an Alabama Middle School that has a quote that literally made me snort soda out of my nose a few minutes ago. These same sex “unions” cannot provide an adequate means of achieving a genuine physical relationship with another human

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The Accuracy of the King James Bible

While locating the original source of the cartoon below, I came across a post discussing the accuracy of the King James Version of the Bible, in which the author consults a biblical scholar, Dr. David Bosworth, Assistant Professor of Theology and resident Old Testament scholar at Barry University in Miami, Florida, who gives a lengthy,

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Pets during the Rapture.

An entire discussion forum for what will happen to pets when “The Rapture” happens. Yeah. People, there’s nothing in the Bible about the Rapture. Check out the two biblical passages that are the basis for this belief: “Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.

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Saved!

I caught the 2003 movie Saved! this weekend. There was a lot of controversy when it came out because it a comedy that depicts a Christian school in a less-than-flattering way. After watching it, though, it’s clear that the comedic critique in the movie is of hypocrisy, not of Christianity, and of people who pay

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Belief-O-Matic

I discovered this via my friend Mikal… Belief.net has an interesting quiz on personal beliefs about faith and religion.. Here’s how I stack up: 1. Neo-Pagan (100%) 2. Unitarian Universalism (96%) 3. Liberal Quakers (88%) 4. New Age (87%) 5. Mahayana Buddhism (86%) See how the rest of my beliefs stack up below the jump…

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Catholic Church moves to ban gay priests

The Pope is considering banning gay men from becoming priests and removing priests who are gay from service. Interesting on so many levels, really. My thoughts: I wonder when they’re going to remove all the lesbian nuns. The pedophile scandals will continue, because the priests molesting kids aren’t gay, and the gay priests aren’t molesting

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The Flying Spaghetti Monster and “Pastafarianism”

I put a new emblem on my car last night. It’s the image of the “Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Wikipedia explains it best: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is a parody religion created to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to allow intelligent design to be taught in science classes alongside evolution. The “religion”

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Homophobia in the News

Gay teenager forced by parents to go into a “sexual re-orientation” camp to “cure” him of his homosexuality. Nevermind that all licensed, legitimate psychological and psychiatric professionals say it isn’t possible to change sexual orientation because it isn’t a disease. Read Salon’s four part expose on these “ex-gay” camps. The New York Pizza Depot in

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Isn’t that precious?

Apparently some fine folks in Arizona are traveling around the state in a nice “Please Hate Homos” semi-trailer truck called the “Marriage Mobile.” Beautiful. Why not just stick a nice burning cross on the top of that thing, and make it complete? If you take a good look at the statistics about gay marriage in

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Catholics refuse communion to people who support gays

According to an AP story, A priest in St. Paul, Minnesota denied communion to more than 100 parisioners on Sunday because they wore rainbow color sashes in support of gay and lesbian Catholics. A Roman Catholic priest denied communion to more than 100 people Sunday, saying they could not receive the sacrament because they wore

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I wanted to be a Darwinist, but I wasn’t selected

If you’re following the news at all, you’ve read that Kansas is having a second Scopes Monkey trial wherein they’re planning on teaching creationism in the classroom as a form of science. In 1999, Kansas decided to drop the teaching of evolution in the classroom (this decision has since been reversed). But today the Kansas

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Michigan Preparing To Let Doctors Refuse To Treat Gays

This is truly frightening. Not letting us get married is one thing, but refusing to provide health care to gay people is chilling, nazi-esque “load up the trains” behavior. Doctors or other health care providers could not be disciplined or sued if they refuse to treat gay patients under legislation passed Wednesday by the Michigan

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Cheney Tries To Scare America into Voting Against Kerry

Cheney tries to claim that voting for Kerry will cause another terrorist attack. The terrorist don’t want Kerry in office. They want Bush. He’s the best recruiting tool they’ve ever had, and he has no support from any important country in the world. They also do a lot of business with him through the Saudi

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Bush Administration Shields Christian Terrorists

Salon Magazine has an article about Christian Terrorist Clayton Waagner, the man who was convicted last week of sending over 550 envelopes of fake anthrax letters to women’s health clinics across the country, including Planned Parenthood clinics here in Indianapolis. Prior to the anthrax threats, Waager had escaped prison where he was being held on

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In Defense Of Biblical Marriage

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: “Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God’s Word and His standards will be honored by

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Recent News Headlines

I was having a conversation recently with someone from work, who said that they thought things were getting much better for gay people in America and they felt that there are no real incidences of homophobia any more. For their benefit, these news headlines from the past week. Conservative Supreme Court justice ridicules sodomy ruling

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The Magdalene Sisters Documentary

I wrote a few months back about the Magdelene Laundries – In Mid-20th Century Ireland (until the last one closed in 1996), the Catholic Church ran commercial laundries, run by nuns, that were essentially prisons for wayward girls, who were deposited there by their families when they became pregnant, got in trouble or otherwise upset

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Top Ten Conservative Idiots (#113)

Courtesy Democratic Underground. In which Bill O’Reilly threatens to shoot Al Franken because Franken is smarter than he is and made him look bad at a book expo. Aw, poor Bill. Also, the Catholic church accuses gay people of hate crimes for kissing. Gee, that’s so similar to Matt Shepard being beaten to death and

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Santorum is an idiot, part 2

Read the full remarks he made to the Associated Press here. They are more shocking than the edited quotes that appeared elsewhere. This man should not be in a leadership position in a political party.

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Top Ten Jerry Falwell Pet Peeves About TV

10. Angels Shouldn’t Go Around "Touching" Anyone 9. Mister Rogers’ sissy loafers. 8. "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane" are lesbian, gay, gay and lesbian. 7. Bastards at MTV didn’t even look at my "Road Rules" audition tape. 6. If you don’t pay the bill on time, Playboy channel gets all fuzzy. 5. Fox won’t even

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Dear Dr. Laura

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

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The Magdalene Laundries and the Catholic Church

The Catholic Church has a lot more to answer for than abuse of altar boys. For years the Catholic Church in Ireland enslaved young women in “Magdalene laundries” run by convents, where they were unpaid prisoners forced to work their entire lives for the Church. The last of these laundries closed in 1996. Ireland’s Dirty

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Catholic Priests Abused Women, Too

According to a Salon article [Devout and defiled: While male victims of predatory priests dominate the headlines, abused girls and women suffer in silence], statistics show that half of the victims of sexual abuse at the hands of priests are women; something I’ve been saying all along. Which means that the the sex abuse scandal

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Company Christmas Party Memo

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

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Left-Handed People and the Catholic Church

Did you know that “Centuries ago, the Catholic Church declared left-handed people to be servants of the Devil? For generations, left-handers who attended Catholic schools were forced to become right-handed. They justified this belief on the basis of several bible quotations that stigmatized left-handedness. There are also quite a few superstitions about being left-handed. It

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Random Acts of Freedom

It’s been a tough year for Americans. We’ve endured one of the worst events in our nation’s history — the stealing of an election by a man who didn’t win the office. We’ve also had to deal with a terrible terrorist attack on our own shores… something we never imagined could happen. And since then,

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Why God created animals

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you

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Relationships and the Importance of Gay Marriage

This article in the New York Times, in a nutshell, explains what I’ve been saying for 15 years about why it is important for gay and lesbian people to be allowed to get married. “Marriage, for instance, isn’t just about the relationship of two people. Other people have to recognize the couple as a couple.

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Dear Mr. Robertson

Dear Mr. Robertson, by Mighty Ponygirl: Dear Mr. Robertson: We here at the Holy Book of the Month club are very excited that you have been enjoying our flagship Holy Book “The Old Testament” so thoroughly. Many readers have become quite enamoured of it, as a dark, brooding tale of sin and vengeance from an

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Bobby Knight in Heaven

Author Unknown After Bobby Knight dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on tour. He shows Bobby a little two-bedroom house with a faded Texas Tech banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach. Most people don’t get their own houses up here," God says. Bobby looks at the house,

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The Beer Prayer

Author Unknown, but thanks to Jesus for the inspiration Our Lager, Which art in Barrels Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk) at home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages as we forgive those who spill against us.

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In the Sistine Chapel

Michelangelo is painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel when he sees an old woman praying the rosary. He decides to take a break and lies back on the scaffolding so the woman can’t see him and says in a loud voice, "I am Jesus Christ. Listen to me and I will perform miracles." The

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A Little Accident

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, "So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars.

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What time is it in Heaven?

Author Unknown A guy dies and goes to heaven. It’s a slow day for St. Peter, so, he says "I’m not very busy today, I’ll show you around." The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and

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The Nature of Man

Author Unknown God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no

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Math is Hard

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort,they took Tommy down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious

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A Pretty Bad Day

Author Unknown Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your

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Sister Mathematical and Sister Logical

Sister Mathematical and Sister Logical Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SL: Have you noticed that a man has

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Arthritis

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk’s shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading— a

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The Joys of Technology

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap

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Three Proofs That Jesus Was…

Three Proofs that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business 2. He lived at home until the age of 33 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin,and his mother was sure he was God Three Proofs that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He never held a

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Inspiring Sermon

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river!" The congregation nodded their approval. With even greater emphasis he added, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and

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Writer’s Paradise

Author Unknown A writer dies and due to a bureaucratic snafu in the the afterworld, she is allowed to choose her own fate: heaven or hell for all eternity. Being a very shrewd dead person, she asks St. Peter for a tour of both. The first stop is hell where she sees rows and rows

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The Letter

Author Unknown After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. "Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked. "I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are

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Jesus Is Watching You

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables. When he picked up a CD player to stuff into his sack, he heard a strange disembodied voice come through the darkness: "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin! He shut off his flashlight and

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The Pope and the Janitor

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If

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Church Humor…

Author Unknown Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gate of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance." Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please

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The Rabbi and the Pope

Author Unknown The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. "What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff. "It’s my direct line to the Lord!" The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope

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Why God Never Received a Ph.D.

Author Unknown He had only one major publication. It was in Hebrew. It had no references. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. The

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A Visit to the Pope

Author Unknown A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks "What’s up?" The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. "ROME?!" Joe says, "Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to

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The First Sermon

Author Unknown The new priest, at his first Mass, was so afraid that he was unable to speak. Before his second week at the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, "Put some martinis in the water pitcher. After a few sips, you should relax enough and everything should go

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The Preacher’s Ass

Author Unknown A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

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Parrot Problems

Author Unknown A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, "Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That’s terrible!"

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