Posts Tagged: quotations

David Sedaris on Undecided Voters

From this week’s New Yorker: Then you’ll see this man or woman– someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference

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My New Favorite Quote

“My favorite definition of a libertarian- and I can’t remember where I stole it from- is ‘a conservative who wants to sleep with liberal women.’” — From the comments on Pandagon’s article: “But Rush told me you had to tolerate my dick in your mouth” Funny because it’s true.

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My Past Falwell Greatest Hits

Jokes about Falwell from the past that people are suddenly linking to now that he’s died. No guarantees on the quality of the jokes… The Theological Significance of Tinky Winky 6 Reasons Tinky Winky Can’t Be Gay The Top 13 Reasons Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay The Batty Hymn of the

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Michele Bachmann

“Any of you who have members of your family that are in the lifestyle – we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It’s a very sad life. It’s part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It’s anything but gay.” – Michele Bachmann, (R) Minnesota 6th District.

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The Bushes are “suffering”

On the Today Show this morning: ANN CURRY: Do you know the American people are suffering… watching [Iraq]? LAURA BUSH: Oh, I know that very much, and, believe me, no suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this. And certainly the commander-in-chief who has asked our military to go into harm’s

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Liberals

“Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did

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On the Bible

“Luckily, I happen to have a Bible laying around this house, because even though I’m not a Christian, I was an English major, and it is important to Know Your Ancient Mythologies if you are reading poetry.” — Amanda Marcotte, Pandagon.net thankyouverymuch.

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Nature cannot be fooled

Richard Feynman’s famous conclusion to his report on the shuttle Challenger accident, which arose again in the Columbia accident, is “For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.” [cribbed from Edward Tufte.] Yeah, no shit. Someone should point this out to Bush, tout de suite.

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More Gatsby

“Self-control!” Repeated Tom incredulously. “I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife. Well, if that’s the idea you can count me out. . . . Nowadays people begin by sneering at family life and family institutions, and next they’ll throw everything overboard and

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Gatsby Quotes

He smiled understandingly—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor.

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Equality

“Equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality’s like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. The misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that

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Quotes

“… because we watched a debate from the House of Representatives about the Iraq Resolution, and it did seem like – you ever been to Trafalgar Square, where they have the, uh, speaker’s corner where, like, crazy people get up on a box, and go, “Harrumph! And Roosevelt stole my couch!” You know, that kind

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blaming mathematics for your inability to add

From the crushworthy site NonSequitur: So while many liberals may perhaps share the satisfaction of having been right about Iraq and Afghanistan from the very beginning, this does not mean (1) that they are gleeful over the damage that has been done to America, and more perniciously, (2) that they brought it about or desired

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idiots rule

“Everything you love, everything meaningful with depth and history, all passionate authentic experiences will be appropriated, mishandled, watered down, cheapened, repackaged, marketed and sold to the people you hate.” — Mr. Jalopy.

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Favorite Quotes

“Cocaine is a drug whose principle effect is to make assholes feel good about themselves.” — from Kent, in the comments on Ian’s blog.

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Really?

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. — Albert Einstein I’ll have to double-check on that one, because it sounds like one of those quotes that we hope is true, but later find out isn’t.

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