Star Wars… Pants?

Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word "Pants" for key words.

We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Many Bobans died to bring us these pants.

These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

Storm Trooper Bio-break
Storm Trooper Bio-break

Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!

General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.

I used to bulls-eye womp rats in my pants back home.

TK-421… Why aren’t you in your pants?

Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.

Luke… Help me remove these pants.

Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!

Luke…..I am your pants.

A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your highness.

Luke, search your pants. You know it is true.

Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one… Your sister!

Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

Short pants is better than no pants at all.

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King of Swaziland: Women don’t wear pants in Swaziland

The King of Swaziland
The King of Swaziland

The King of Swaziland blames women wearing pants for everything.

This fucker is the same age as I am. Mswati III (born Makhosetive; 19 April 1968) is the king (Swazi: Ngwenyama, Ingwenyama yemaSwati) of Eswatini and head of the Swazi royal family. Look at this fucker.

Swazi king blames trousers for all world’s ills
MBABANE – Swaziland’s absolute monarch has singled out women wearing trousers as the cause of the world’s ills in a state radio sermon that also condemned human rights as an “abomination before God”.

The Times of Swaziland reported that the monarch, who reigns supreme in the landlocked country run by palace appointees and where opposition parties are banned, went on to criticise the human rights movement.

“What rights? God created people, and He gave them their roles in society. You cannot change what God has created. This is an abomination before God,” the king told an audience of conservative church leaders.

Women on the streets of capital Mbabane were not impressed.

“The king says I am the cause of the world’s problems because of my outfit.

Never mind terrorism, government corruption, poverty and disease, it’s me and my pants.

I reject that,” said Thob’sile Dlamini.

Mswati is Africa’s last absolute monarch.

He is currently married to nine wives, with a wedding pending for wife number 10, and has chosen an additional fiancee after reviewing videos of topless maidens performing a traditional Reed Dance ceremony. – Nampa-Reuters

This is not the first time Swaziland’s leaders have made these sorts of statements. Quote from the Prime Minister from UPI in 1984:

Women, don’t wear pants in Swaziland
MBABANE, Swaziland — Swaziland, one of Africa’s most traditional and conservative nations, has urged women to wear modest clothing and know their place in society.

Prime Minister Prince Bhekimpi Dlamini, addressing Parliament Tuesday, called for the banning of see-through blouses, mini skirts and women’s trousers.

He also took a swipe at Women’s Liberation as the work of extremists.

‘Women who have such clothing should throw them away and buy decent clothing to wear in public,’ Bhekimpi said. ‘Such clothing is unacceptable to the Swazi nation.

‘Although Swaziland wants its women to progress in all sectors of institutional life, they must respect their place as women.’

Informed sources in Mbabane said there was deep resentment at the prime minister’s remarks among young Swazi women who favor jeans rather than traditional tribal clothes.

‘But nobody has come out openly to criticize the government. It’s a heavy issue here,’ one source said.

Under the late King Sobhuza II, who died in 1982, Swaziland cautiously adopted some facets of Western life while honoring the tribal traditions of one of Africa’s oldest kingdoms.

If Swaziland introduces legislation outlawing revealing and Western clothes, it will be following the example of Malawi where a Victorian moral code inculcated by President-for-life Hastings Banda frowns on mini skirts, jeans and men with long hair.

2022-03-12 Update:

This mother fucker is still in charge of their country.

Continue ReadingKing of Swaziland: Women don’t wear pants in Swaziland