She never stops cracking me up:
Why, that’s just not true. In addition to good vibes, I can send you goodies for after surgery. Of course, I can’t send anything funny, or you’ll laugh and your chest will hurt. And I can’t send you anything sad because you’ll cry and your chest will hurt. And nothing exciting that will make your heart race… so boring stuff that you’ll be indifferent to. Yep. That’s what I can send. Q-Tips maybe? Or some string? Beige shoe polish, even.
It’s a shame it’s your heart that’s the trouble. I mean, if it were a kidney, I could just say “Here, have one of mine. Either one. I’m not really using them anyway. I want it back when you’re done though. Better yet, have one of Gary’s. And one of Todd’s. One for day and one for evening wear. And take an appendix while you’re at it, since you’re already one short”!
But alas, my GP says I’m not allowed to give away bits of my circulatory system, even on a time-share basis.
Anyway, keep me posted.
I like how she volunteers my brother’s kidneys. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.