A handy guide to my personal idioms and their origins, because I notice that a lot of times people look at me funny when I’m talking. I’ve had this page around for awhile but forgot to transfer it into my new content management system. There seem to be some terms missing, too.
"Big Girl" Seats
The newer theatres in town have wider butt-space seating for those of us who’ve spread out over the years.
Birthday Mardi Gras
Usage: When your birthday falls on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday of the week, you get to celebrate both the weekend before AND the weekend after.
Origin: Cuzin Jim and Cuzin Mick (not my actual cousins) started Birthday Mardi Gras back in college (Ball State, late 80’s) to compensate for the drinking binges we were missing out on due to mid-week birthdays. This term has spread far and wide, and even ended up on an episode of "The West Wing" when Jed Barlett suggests celebrating his wife’s birthday in Mardi Gras style.
Evil Robot Brain/Organizational Automaton
i don’t like clutter, and I tend to get stuck in a mode of organizing things and can’t stop, because I just keep spotting more things that can be put away.
"Funny… But No"
Origin: Hallmark’s Shoebox Greetings website, where they actually post the greeting card ideas that have been rejected as offensive for one reason or another, but are too hilarious to just let go.
When you cranky, you’re wearing “grumpy pants.” Anything is funny when the word “pants” is involved.
The bird feeder I hung outside my front window that provides hours of entertainment for my three cats, who sit plot how they might get those birds if they ever got outside.
I manage to forget that I have a menstrual cycle every darned month until it shows up to surprise me.
When I was a small child, I used to mix up the words "memory" and "remember." I tend to think "remembory" first, and correct myself and use "memory" before the word comes out of my mouth, but sometimes I say this when I’m tired.
Turn Into a Pumpkin
Somewhere between 10 and 11 p.m., I start getting sleepy and I stop making sense when I talk. Like Cinderella’s carriage, I become somewhat less exciting to be around.