Viagra Causes Panic

WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) — Viagra, the new pill for impotence approved by the Food and Drug Administration on Friday, is already causing problems across the country. The FDA had said a man would need to by sexually aroused before the drug would work, but apparently failed to consider that most men walk around in a constant state of sexual arousal. Several disasters or near-disasters have already been reported:

  • In Boise, a passenger plane skidded off the runway after the pilot’s erection inadvertently hit the button that causes the landing gear to retract.
  • In San Bernardino County, outside of Los Angeles, a 17-car pileup occurred when trucker Dirk Diggler apparently lost control of his rig, blocking his vision and causing him to also lose control of his truck.

FDA Spokesperson Bonnie Thurston commented, "There’s no limit to the damage that this pill could cause. We’ve got to make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, like President Clinton’s, for example, of we could have a potential nuclear mistake."

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