The F Word

Author Unknown

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "Fuck." It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (Mary doesn’t really give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is really fucking interested in John); and as a noun, (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you see, there are very few words with the versatility of "Fuck."

Besides it’s sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

It can be used in an anatomical description — "He’s a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time — "It’s five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business — "How did I end up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal — as in "Motherfucker."

Valuable Vocabulary Chart

Greetings — "How the fuck are you?"
Fraud — "I got fucked by the car dealer."
Dismay — "Oh, fuck it."
Trouble — "Hell, I guess I’m fucked now."
Aggression — "Fuck you."
Disgust — "Fuck me."
Confusion — "What the fuck…?"
Difficulty — "I don’t understand this fucking business."
Despair — "Fucked again."
Exasperation — "For fuck’s sake."
Enjoyment — "This is fucking great."
Hostility — "I’m going to knock your fucking head off."
Stupidity — "Geir Bergerud is a Fuckwad!"
Incompetence — "He’s such a fuck up."
Ignorance — "Fuck if I know."
Displeasure — "What the fuck is going on here?"
Lost — "Where the fuck are we?"
Disbelief — "Unfuckingbelievable!"
Retaliation — "Up your fucking ass."
Surprise — "Fuckin A!"
Surprise — "Well, I’ll be fucked."
Suspicion — "What the fuck are you doing?"
Contempt — "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!"

Famous quotes:

"What the fuck was that?" — Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" — General Custer

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" — Captain of the Titanic

"That’s not a real fucking gun." — John Lennon

"Who’s gonna fucking find out?" — Richard Nixon

"Heads are going to fucking roll." — Anne Boleyn

"Any fucking idiot could understand that." — Albert Einstein

"It does so fucking look like her!" — Picasso

"How the fuck did you work that out?" — Pythagoras

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" — Michaelangelo

"Fuck a duck." — Walt Disney

"Why?- Because its fucking there!" — Edmund Hilary

"I don’t suppose its gonna fucking rain?" — Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass." — Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." — John F. Kennedy

The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word FUCK! Use it regularly in your daily speech. It will add to your prestige.

Posted in Funny Lists, Jokes Tagged with: , ,

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