How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Headquarters Was In Alabama

Author Unknown

Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders"

Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle.

Occasionally you’d bring up a winder that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.

Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git"instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel".

Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.

The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.

Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you’d hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!" and "Roll Tide".

Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Sweet Home Alabama" followed by an introduction from Hank Williams (Senior), Elvis Presley, and Paul "Bear" Bryant.

PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".

Microsoft’s programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul D-".

Winders 95 Logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag.

Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".

Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.

"Well, the first thing you know ole Bill’s a billionaire…"

Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.

Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates — 18. Direct link to the WWW (World Wide Wrestling) Home Page.

"Where’s Waldo?" would be replaced with "Where’s Elvis?".

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