The Top 13 Reasons Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay
- Fonzie: has an "office" in the men’s room and always tells guys to "sit on it."
- If you’re drunk enough, "Homer Simpson" sounds kinda like "homosexual."
- Popeye: Vegetarian. Bodybuilder. Dresses like one of the Village People. "Girlfriend" has no visible breasts. You connect the dots, Chester.
- Batman & Robin: They caress a bust, which reveals a pole that they wrap themselves around and slide down which strips them of their clothes and puts them in rubber suits and… Okay, maybe Falwell’s got something here.
- Alex Trebek: Lives with his mom and knows *way* too much about Broadway Musicals and potpourri.
- "Shhhh, be vewy vewy wightous! I’m hunting a naked opewa-wuving wabbit!"
- Will from "Will & Grace": Not because the character is openly gay, but because if he were straight, he’d go by "Bill" and smoke cigars.
- That Peter Jennings character on "ABC World News Tonight" is thin, neat and obsessed with the sex life of a guy named Bill.
- Fred Flintstone & Barney Rubble: Fur house dresses? C’mon!
- Check the reruns closely: Woody lives up to his name whenever Norm walks into the bar.
- The letters in "The Teletubbies" can be rearranged to read, "He bites eel butt."
- "Dr. Quinn, Lesbian Woman"
- and Number 1 Reason Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay…
- David Hasselhoff: 147 episodes of "Baywatch" with nary an erection.