(Obviously sung to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the Teletubby and his cutsey little purse.
He wears a purple outfit, and, dear friends, what’s even worse,
He doesn’t scratch or spit or belch, He doesn’t even curse.
What kind of guy is he?
Tinky Winky is a fairy.
Moral Morons must be wary.
Ignorance like their’s is scary.
And Tinky Winky’s gay.
I have seen his little triangle where it sits upon his head,
And we all know it’s a symbol for the shame that can’t be said.
Now we have to purge this danger or our little boys will wed
A wife whose name is Ed.
His defenders say his purse is nothing but a magic little bag.
That’s a cover-up, as we all know, he’s just a little fag!
We cannot let a Teletubby appear in purple drag,
Yes, they call him Tinky Winky. Does that name sound straight to you?
If he weren’t homosexual, his clothing would be blue!
He’s subversive and perverted, and his pal’s a Laa-Laa, too.
We have seen this Tinky Winky near the San Francisco bay.
He’s the marshal of the big parade they hold on Gay Pride Day.
We’ll all join hands and hold a protest as we march the Moron way.
He’s teaching all our 2 year-olds that gayness is no curse.
He is tearing down the fabric of our moral universe.
If left unchecked, our kids may grow up unperverse.
Jerry Falwell is our hero, he’s the one to lead the fight.
He has seen the truth and spoken out, he’ll lead us further right,
Where we will join the multitude who just ain’t none too bright.
In a quiet Southern village Jerry was born into a haze,
With an anger in his bosom that would last him all his days.
As he works to teach us hatred, let us go and bash some gays.