A Few Holiday Favorites With A Gay Twist

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"Frosty the Snow Queen"

(To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Frosty the snow queen
Had a rotten Christmas Day,
While the children played with their sweet charade
He was anything but Gay.

Frosty the Snow Queen
Thought the kids had made a mess.
He deplored the pipe and the old top hat,
He preferred to wear a dress.

They made him sled, they made him skate
They had a snowball fight.
And when they put him on some skis
How it made his snowballs tight (ouch!)

He hated Christmas,
Not a hoot like Hallowe’en.
Without sequined gowns and bejewelled crowns
He’s a frigid closet queen.

All season long dear Frosty pined
And lonliness he felt
Until he spied a handsome hunk
And his heart began to melt!

They moved to the North Pole
Where their lives are cool and free.
And together during six-month nights
They’re as happy as can be!

"O Horny Dyke"

(To the tune of "O Holy Night")

O horny Dyke, riding on a Harley
With chrome exhaust and the front wheel chopped.
Ride through the night, roaring down the highway
Through quiet towns whose sad silence is stopped.

In leather chaps to match her leather jacket
And polished boots she blazes into town.
Fall on your knees! And worship Mistress Harley!
O Dyke Divine, O Dyke — Dyke on a bike!
O Dyke Divine, O Dyke, O horny Dyke!

"Have a Flaming Screaming Yultide"

(To the tune of "Have a holly, jolly Christmas")

Have a flaming, screaming Yuletide,
It’s the best time of the year
For all to know
That you’re Ho-mo
And happy to be Queer.

Have a flaming, screaming Yuletide
And as you walk down the street
Say "Hello"
To Dykes you know
And every Fag you meet.

Ho! Ho! If you’re Homo
Let everyone see!
Come out of the closet now,
Flaunt it publicly!

Have a flaming screaming Yuletide
And in case you didn’t hear:
Come on, Mary, have a
Flaming, screaming Yuletide this year!

"Bisexual"

(To the tune of "O Christmas Tree")

Bisexual, Bisexual
How free to love each gender!
Bisexual, Bisexual
How free to love each gender!

You’ll sleep with women and with men
You’ll switch and then go back again.

Bisexual, Bisexual
How free to love each gender!

Jingle Bells

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to flaunt in public that you’re Gay!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to flaunt in public that you’re Gay!

A day or two ago, I thought I’d take a ride
And soon a buff Marine was seated by my side.
His chest was lean and hard, and free from any hair
And when I stripped him of his clothes
His legs went in the air!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to flaunt in public that you’re Gay!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to flaunt in public that you’re Gay!

"Let ‘Em Rave"

(To the tune of "Let It Snow")

O the fundies outside are frightful
But we Queers are so delightful.
They’re quite disturbed we are Gay, but
Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave!

They scream and they wave their Bible
Shouting hateful libel.
We know they’re all closet Gays, so
Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave!

When we finally kiss goodnight
We’ll be sure that the fundies can see.
During kiss-ins they get up-tight
‘Cuz they’d like to join you and me!

They’re zeal is slowly dying
They’ll soon be Queer-sex trying.
I did their pastor just the other day, so
Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave! Let ’em rave!

And finally, for a little multi-culturalism…

"The Dildo Song"

(To the tune of "The Dreidle Song")

O dildo, dildo, dildo
I made you out of clay
And when you’re hard and ready
O dildo I will play

When I was a youngster
Indoors I’d always stay
And in my parents’ closet
O dildo I would play

I dildo, dildo, dildo
I bought you yesterday
And when desire’s burning
O dildo I will play!

Posted in Gay Jokes, Holidays, Jokes Tagged with: , , , ,

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