A list of parental excuses supposedly sent to teachers. In these samples, names were replaced with either Fred or Mary to protect innocent and guilty alike.
My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Fred for being. It was his father’s fault.
Please ackuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33,.
Mary was absent from school yesterday as she was having a gangover..
Mary could not come to school today because she was bothered by very close veins.
Fred has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Fred from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
Please excuse Mary from Jim yesterday. She is administrating.
Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary. She has been sick and under a doctor.
Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
Fred was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing area.
Please excuse Fred Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Fred was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
Please excuse Mary. She is having problems with her ovals.
Please excuse Fred from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.