Message of Welcome to the UU Church

by , under Funny Lists

As we welcome our new members and visitors, it is only fair to let them know what we Unitarian Universalists are like and what we expect.

  • We are friendly. If you are not friendly, out you go!
  • We are genuine people. Even our phonies are real phonies.
  • We are always sincere, even if we have to fake it.
  • We aren’t sure how ambivalent we should be.
  • We believe in tolerance and cannot stand intolerant people.
  • We are optimists. Anyone who doesn’t look on the bright side depresses us.
  • We are more non-competitive than other groups.
  • We believe in equality; everyone is as good as the next person and a whole lot better.
  • Every Unitarian is a feminist, so he has to watch his language.
  • The organization is run democratically because the president insists on it.
  • We have our critics, but they are paranoid.
  • We are prompt about being late to meetings.
  • Dogmatism is absolutely forbidden.
  • Freedom of belief is rigidly enforced.

And to this wonderful place we joyfully welcome you.

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