Jewish English or ‘Hebonics’

Author Unknown

The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as the language of many of America’s Jews. Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and samples of phrases in standard English and Jewish English.

Samples of Pronunciation Characteristics

Jewish English or "Hebonics" hardens consonants at the ends of words.
Thus, "hand" becomes "handt."

The letter "W" is always pronounced as if it were a "V".
Thus "walking" becomes "valking"

"R" sounds are transformed to a guttural utterance that is virtually impossible to spell in English. It’s "ghraining" "algheady"

Samples of Idiomatic Characteristics

Questions are always answered with questions.
Question: "How do you feel?" Hebonics response: "How should I feel?"

The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has been used at the beginning: "She dances beautifully, that girl."

The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "sh" to the front is used for emphasis" mountains becomes "shmountains" turtle becomes "shmurtle".

Sample Usage Comparisons

Standard English Phrase

Hebonics Phrase

"He walks slow"

"Like a fly in the ointment he walks"

"You’re sexy"

(unknown concept)

"Sorry, I do not know the time"

"What do I look like, a clock?"

"I hope things turn out for the best"

"You should BE so lucky"

"Anything can happen"

"It is never so bad, it can’t get worse"

Posted in Funny Lists, Lexicons Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,

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