Top Ten Questions on the Indiana University Basketball Coach Application

10. "Do you feel you have a proper disrespect for authority?"

9. "In what anger-management class do you see yourself in five years?"

8. "You’re not one of those guys who pats everyone on the ass, are you?"

7. "Have you ever been prescribed drugs that are used to sedate horses?"

6. "Fill in the blanks: I’m going to break your ____ing neck, you mother____"

5. "Are you actually Bob Knight in a fake mustache trying to get your job back?"

4. "Do you have what it takes to lead Indiana to a 2nd-round NCAA tournament loss?"

3. "Not your area, but what’s the deal with that lame ‘Big Brother’ show?"

2. "Which scenario results in getting fired:
A) threatening a basketball player or
B) having sex with a hefty intern?"

1. "Why them balls so bouncy?"

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