Even More One-Liners

Been There – Shit Happened

Boldly Going Nowhere

Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

Cover me, I’m changing lanes.

Don’t laugh, your daughter may be inside – (on a custom van)

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

Hang up and drive.

He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Honk If You Want To See My Finger

Honk if anything falls off

Honk if you’re ontologically alienated

Horn broken watch for finger

How can I get in your way when you don’t even have one?

I brake for no apparent reason

I don’t brake.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Iconoclast

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

If you can read this, please flip me back over… (seen upside down, on a Jeep)

If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now

I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

Karmically Challenged

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

My other car has bumperstickers, too

My son isn’t an honor student. He plays hockey.

Post Cool

Question Appearances

Question Authority

Question Reality

Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.

Seen on the back of a biker’s vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.

So many pedestrians so little time

Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

This bumpersticker exploits illiterates

This is it, I don’t have another car.

This is Not an Abandoned Vehicle – on an old, rusted-out car with 2 plastic bags taped over where the rear windows used to be, parked in a shopping center.

Today’s Mood: Irritable

Warning! I brake for hallucinations

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

Welcome to California. Now Go Home.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way

Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!

You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Posted in Funny Lists, One-Liners Tagged with: , , , ,
2 comments on “Even More One-Liners
  1. Laurens Ronden says:

    If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
    My Karma ran over my Dogma

  2. Mike says:

    Drive defensively – buy a tank.

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