Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
Alert To Company Developments:
An office gossip.
Approaches Difficult Problems With Logic:
Finds someone else to do the job.
Not too bright.
Character Above Reproach:
Still one step ahead of the law.
Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious And Careful:
Consults With Supervisor Often:
Pain in the ass.
Demonstrates Qualities Of Leadership:
Has a loud voice.
Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated.
Needs more to do.
Exceptionally Well Qualified:
Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses Self Well:
Can string two sentences together.
Gets Along Extremely Well With Superiors And Subordinates Alike:
Paid too much.
Usually does it the hard way.
Indifferent To Instruction:
Knows more than superiors.
Is Unusually Loyal:
Wanted by no-one else.
Judgement Is Usually Sound:
A Keen Analyst:
Keen Sense Of Humor:
Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Maintains Professional Attitude:
Meticulous In Attention To Detail:
Not A Desk Person:
Did not go to college.
Of Great Value To The Organization:
Turns in work on time.
Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Requires Work-Value Attitudinal Readjustment:
Lazy and hard-headed.
Should Go Far:
Slightly Below Average:
Spends Extra Hours On The Job:
Miserable home life.
A real jerk.
Strong Adherence To Principles:
Tactful In Dealing With Superiors:
Knows when to keep mouth shut.
Takes Pride In Work:
Takes Advantage Of Every Opportunity To Progress:
Buys drinks for superiors.
Will stick with us until retirement.
Uses Resources Well:
Uses Time Effectively:
Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
Does too much busywork.
Will Go Far:
Relative of management.