State of the Union: Patriotboy’s Take

Patriot Boy outlines what he thinks the state of the union will encompass this evening. Among the gems:

Social Security
Our Leader’s plan to undermine the New Deal is faltering. He needs to inject his Social Security initiative with the tonic of fear to nurse it back to health. With that in mind, I’ve created the following talking points.
1. Social Security will kill you. Nine out of ten people will die within twenty years of the time they start collecting it.
2. Social security supports terrorists. Somewhere, a member of the Weather Underground is waiting for his check to arrive so that he can buy groceries and maybe even the parts for a bomb.
3. There were social security checks on the planes that hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.
4. Social security has weapons of mass destruction. Sure, logic tells us that social security is a concept and is therefore incapable of possessing anything, but Ahmad Chalabi tells me it has them.
5. Social Security is trying to homosexualize our children by promoting its pansexual philosophy.

Posted in Politics

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