Onion Headlines

They underwent a redesign recently, too.
God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again
Officials Uncertain Whether To Save Or Shoot Victims
Nation’s Politicians Applaud Great Job They’re Doing
Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self
Bush: ‘It Has Been Brought To My Attention That There Was Recently A Bad Storm’
Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq
Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help
Refugees Moved From Sewage-Contaminated Superdome To Hellhole Of Houston
White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters
Another Saints Season Ruined Before It Begins
Bush Urges Victims To Gnaw On Bootstraps For Sustenance

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