Free Will Astrology for the week of Sept. 13:
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Of all the objects in the world that are made of 22-karat gold, a bathtub in Japan is the biggest. Weighing in at over 300 pounds, it’s in the Funabara Hotel a hundred miles south of Tokyo. I suggest you regard it as your personal symbol of power in the coming week, Gemini. It will remind you to stay true to your task, which is to cleanse yourself extravagantly as you purge your heart of all motivations that aren’t pure gold.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Every year 1.5 million Turkish students take a day-long college entrance exam. It’s a grueling maze of complicated yet often inane questions — an absurd attempt to quantify intelligence with a one-size-fits-all standard of measurement. Three quarters of all students fail, and thus face the prospect of unemployment in a country where only higher education guarantees a decent job. This year a lone rebel rose up in defiance against the oppressive tradition. Sefa Boyar announced he’d strive to give the wrong answer to every question on the multiple-choice test. Naturally, he had to study hard to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally get a few right answers. Be inspired by Boyar, Leo. Resist or subvert the soul-shrinking hocus-pocus of a bunch of humans acting like machines. Unlike Boyar, do it in a way that enhances your chance to achieve success on your own terms.
So…. this week I’m looking for solid gold bathtubs, and Stephanie is supposed to cheat on some tests. Got it.