My Past Falwell Greatest Hits

Jokes about Falwell from the past that people are suddenly linking to now that he’s died. No guarantees on the quality of the jokes…

The Theological Significance of Tinky Winky

6 Reasons Tinky Winky Can’t Be Gay

The Top 13 Reasons Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay

The Batty Hymn of the Repugnant

Top Ten Jerry Falwell Pet Peeves About TV

And while we’re at it, some of Jerry’s greatest hits, from various places on the web…

“AIDS is God’s punishment to gays.” – Jerry Falwell

“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.”

“I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!”

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

“There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.”

“AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh’s charioteers.”

“Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.”

“The whole (global warming) thing is created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability.”

“(9/11 is the result of) throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad…I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America…I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen.”

“The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”

“It appears that America’s anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men’s movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.”

“When lawlessness is abroad in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany. Many of those people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists. Many of them were homosexuals. The two things seem to go together.” – 700 Club, 1-21-93
“You know, one of the great misnomers in our society is the term `gay.’ That somebody who is involved in something that is leading to suicide, where the V.D. rate is 11 times that of others, which are almost driven and ashamed and fearful and confused and psychotic and all the others that we read about plaguing this part of our society. The term gay is the most serious misuse of the English language. They’re not gay, they’re very, very depressed and miserable.” – 700 Club, 5-6-82

“When you see the rise of blatant open homosexuality and lesbianism, what you also know is God has given a society up…and we’re at the mercy of the elements, the mercy of war, the mercy of economic disaster.” – 700 Club, 4-26-93

“The radical left is doing everything they can to destroy the moral fiber of America. They want to do away with the family. I am absolutely persuaded one of the reasons so many lesbians are at the forefront of the pro-choice movement is because being a mother is the unique characteristic of womanhood, and these lesbians will never be mothers naturally, so they don’t want anybody else to have that privilege either.” – 700 Club, 5-18-93

“[Vice President Gore] recently praised the lesbian actress who plays ‘Ellen’ on ABC Television…I believe he may even put children, young people, and adults in danger by his public endorsement of deviant homosexual behavior…Our elected leaders are attempting to glorify and legitimize perversion.” People for the American Way, “Hostile Climate”, 1998

Posted in Favorite Quotes, GLBT Issues, Religion Tagged with: , , , ,
3 comments on “My Past Falwell Greatest Hits
  1. Wil says:

    “I listen to feminists and all these radical gals – most of them are failures. They’ve blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That’s all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they’re mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They’re sexist. They hate men – that’s their problem” — Jerry Falwell

  2. Yep – I hate men. That’s why I keep so many of them around. Hee.

  3. Rachel says:

    I love the way Wonkette phrased it in their Daily Briefing roundup of yesterday’s events: “Fat asshole dies.”

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: