The Onion wries a news story that sounds vaguely like my friend Douglas:
A hilarious story about a kid who’s disappointed to receive the “full-screen” version of the Matrix Reloaded as a gift, as opposed to the more desirable letter-boxed, or “wide-screen” version.
“With approximately a third of the movie’s visual content missing, thanks to ‘pan-and-scan,'” he added under his breath.”