Mary Ann and Wanda were the best of friends
all through their high school days
both members ofthe 4-H Club, both active in the FFA.
After graduation Mary Ann went out,
looking for a bright new world.
Wanda looked all around this town
and all she found was Earl.
Well, it wasn’t two weeks after she got married
that Wanda started gettin’ abused.
She put on dark glasses, and long-sleeved blouses
and make-up to cover the bruises.
She finally got the nerve to file for divorce;
she let the law take it from there.
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
and put her in intensive care.
Right away Mary Ann flew in from Atlanta
on a red-eye midnight flight.
She held Wanda’s hand, and they worked out a plan,
and it didn’t take them long to decide that
Earl had to Die.
Those black-eyed peas, they tasted alright to me, Earl.
You feelin’ weak? Why don’t you laid down and sleep, Earl.
Ain’t it dark, wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?
Well, the cops came by to bring Earl in;
They searched the house high and low.
Then they tipped their hats and said
"Thank you, ladies, if you hear from him let us know."
Well the weeks went by, and spring turned to summer
and summer faded into fall.
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all.
The girls bought some land and a road-side stand
down on highway 109.
They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam
and they don’t lose any sleep at night,
’cause Earl had to die.
We need a break; let’s go out to the lake, Earl.
We’ll pack a lunch, and stuff you in the trunk, Earl.
Well, is that alright? Good, let’s go for a ride, Earl.