2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Drink One Sip If:
President Bush says the word “safer”
Bush says “terrorism”
Bush says “flip flop”
Bush says “Saddam Hussein”
Bush says “September 11”
Kerry says “Enron” or “Halliburton”
Kerry says “North Korea”
every three times Kerry points with his left hand
Anyone mentions their own military service
One candidate interrupts another candidate
Either candidate promises to “support our troops”
Either candidate says “The American People”
Either candidate says “Florida”
Either candidate says “Axis of evil”
Drink Two Sips If:
Bush says “cut and run”
Bush says “Osama bin Laden” or Al Qaeda
Kerry brings up Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” moment
Kerry mentions Bush wants to reinstate the draft
Either candidate mentions an ordinary American by name
Either candidate talks past their time limit
Anyone looks at the wrong camera
Anyone whips out “evidence”
Anyone mentions blogs
Everytime you see anyone wearing the yellow “LiveSTRONG” bracelet
Finish Your Glass If:
Bush uses the phrase “compassionate conservative”
Bush says “Enron” or “Halliburton”
Bush mispronounces any word or name
Anyone in the audience gets dragged out of the auditorium
Anyone in the audience gets off an unscripted question
Anyone says “Osama bin Hidin'”
Anyone uses a sports metaphor
Anyone attempts to speak Spanish to pander to Latinos
Do a Shot If:
Bush mentions the deficit
Bush accuses Kerry of being “French on terrorism”
Kerry accuses Bush of being a pansy for avoiding Vietnam
Ralph Nader shows up insisting on airtime
Finish the Bottle If:
Bush admits he made a mistake (“miscalculation” counts)
Anyone challenges anyone to a duel
The moderator rips off his mask to reveal his true identity is Karl Rove

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Salon’s WMD Bombshell and how it’s being censored

President Bush based his famous and false claim that Iraq was seeking uranium from Niger on a set of crudely forged documents. For the last two years, no one has uncovered who falsified these documents, which lie at the heart of Bush’s case for war.
Now, CBS’ 60 Minutes program has uncovered new and important revelations about the Bush administration’s reliance on the documents. But, in an unprecedented and astonishing move, CBS bumped the report back until after the election, saying it would be “inappropriate” to air the piece when it might interfere with the political season.
Salon Magazine, however, obtained the CBS news report and covers the story in an exclusive article.

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“A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN”

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance – now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans.
The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

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Alan Keyes’ Daughter Is Outed

Remember Alan Keyes, the homophobic senate candidate from Illinois, who said during the RNC that Mary Cheney was a “Selfish Hedonist” and gave a long diatribe on how gay people are evil?

Well.. his daughter Maya Keyes is an out lesbian with a website. Of course, she got scared and took it down when he went public with his campaign, but the people who had discovered it have recreated parts of it.

Alan Keyes ran for president in 2008, and his daughter is now an out and proud activist.

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Stoned Slackers My Ass

Recently, Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” appeared with Fox News Channel’s Bill O’Reilly. “You know what’s really frightening?” O’Reilly teased Stewart. “You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it’s true. You’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.”
A recent Annenberg survey finds that some of the best-informed voters are those that watch late-night comedy. While Leno and Letterman viewers scored slightly higher than average on Annenberg’s election-season quiz, the runaway winners were those who watched “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart. While part of the explanation for their high score is that the show’s audience tends to be “more educated, younger, and more liberal than the Average American or than Leno or Letterman viewers,” the study’s director found that the program itself had an unambiguously educational impact. According to the study’s director, “Daily Show viewers have higher campaign knowledge than national news viewers and newspaper readers — even when education, party identification, following politics, watching cable news, receiving campaign information online, age, and gender are taken into consideration.”

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Weekend Update 2004-09-27

Stephanie and I did a ton of work at my house this weekend to get the place ready for the party I’m throwing this coming Saturday. Mainly we did a lot of cleaning and organizing.
The party will be a retro 80’s party… and in gathering up stuff to wear, we’ve seen tons of appropriate stuff in the stores. Target has leg warmers and fishnet stockings. Pac-Sun and Hot Topic have checkered vans, t-shirts and the big oversized belts from the 80’s. Hot Topic has buttons of 80’s bands. Izods and Polo shirts are back at Lazarus.
This is a great site for ideas about the 80’s… InThe80s.com. I pulled a lot of ideas about decor from here, and there’s lots of helpful stuff about clothes, too.
We finally got to see the finale of The Amazing Race this weekend — that made me very happy, because I had been cheering for Chip and Kim for quite awhile, mainly because they treated each other very well and worked together throughout the whole race, and they did, for the most part, play fair with everyone all the way along.

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Typical Bush Supporter Calls News Show

Typical Bush supporter calls in to C-Spans Washington Journal. Check out what she had to say using Real Player (click on link to September 23 show and fast-forward to 1:56:43), or just read the transcript below:

PETER SLEN, HOST: Kenner, Louisiana, good morning.
CALLER: Good morning. I’m going to vote for President Bush because, after all, you know, God made us there, you know, in His image, free from any black color and all [Host looks up, surprised]. The only church that Kerry can go to is where they say the Black Mass, and that is in the Merriam-Webster Pocket Book dictionary, where it says that that is the devil worshippers. [Host looks uncomfortably off-camera, at producer?] So, definitely, I would never vote for, you know, Senator Kerry.
And that isn’t the only reason. Also, in the Bible, God said … God … that, uh, also, like (unintelligible) and faggots, that he says, anybody that lays down with another man and has sex with his own sex, and any woman that lays down with another woman and has sex should be put to death and their blood upon them. It also says that about interracial marriages and everything. So that’s the reason why I’m voting for my president, Bush.
SLEN: What do you do in, uh …
CALLER: And that isn’t the only reason. They also have other reasons also. The other reason is political, because like the political terrorists, they’ve been out there for eight months, and they’ve been out on the road, and they’ve been talking about … they’ve talked against our president. They put him down in every way. And God knows that that is wrong. He’s out there doing God’s work. He’s taking care of all our children.
Like when Clinton was in, he made – he tried to make whores and faggots out of our little girls – whores out of our little girls. He put the pornography in the schools. And God’s gonna condemn him for that.
SLEN: What do you do in Kenner?
CALLER (talking over question): And that’s the reason why … he even went to the hospital and everything.
SLEN: Caller, what do you do in Kenner, Louisiana?
CALLER: Pardon me?
SLEN: What do you do in Kenner? Do you have a job?
CALLER: I’m a housewife.
SLEN: A housewife? Where do you go to church?
CALLER: I go to different churches. I go to, sometimes, in New Orleans, I go to the Cathedral. And I believe in my God, and I know that God is here to protect everybody. And if Kerry comes in … God helped the whole world, because God loved … Kerry … oh, that’s another thing …
SLEN (cutting her off): Thanks, caller. I’m afraid – I’m afraid we’re out of time. I wish I could let you go on, but I’m afraid we’re out of time.

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